"Your course puts such a strain on me!"

[Writingthepain]

So I'm doing a distence learning part time college course. It's 8 months of the year and takes up about 8-10 hours a week. When I'm studying I need my npd mum to not make a huge noise around the house and to cease her endless pratter. I finished on Wednesday and mum and I went out for a meal to celebrate,  during which she gave me this long speech about what a relief it was to her that I was now off for the summer, and I must understand that this course is a huge strain on her, what with having to be quiet in the house sometimes and not utter every last thought that passes through her head. And of course I suspect There's an element of jealousy since I have something to talk about that she can't join in with and be the voice of authority on. She went on and on about it, torpedoed any enjoyment I had in finishing this year and it feels like she's sucked out all the joy from the course itself.

[treesgrowslowly]

Awful. My heart goes out to you. Mine would sabotage me whenever I had school work as well. And then brag to strangers about how well I was doing in school.

Can you work elsewhere? Local library?

[foobarred]

Yup.  My uPD parents could suck the joy out of any occasion, and the pride out of any accomplishment.  Its a way of short-circuiting your self esteem and putting the focus back on THEM.  To this day when I do something well, I get no pleasure from it; I only remember the times I screw up.

Any way you can protect your accomplishments, so your mom can't pee on them?  Hide them, downplay them, grey rock/ medium chill them?  It sucks not being able to ask for that affirmation, but you know you're not going to get it anyway, and silence is less painful than some cutting remark.