Setting goals

[Associate of Daniel]

Home sick with a virus today. 4th day.

Ruminating on how I'm not satisfied with my life.

Thought to myself I should set some goals. What do I want to be doing in 5 years?

Drew a blank.

1 year?  Another blank.

End of this year?  Not a clue.

I think I'll just clear off my bedside table. That'll cheer me up.

5pm.  I still haven't done it

Maybe I'll set a goal to do some goal setting.

Tomorrow.


I've never been ambitious. Never been hugely disciplined. Generally I'm lazy once the essentials are done.

Haven't had a 2 week getaway for over 13 years. Interstate road trip, 9 weeks pregnant, horrendous morning sickness and awful uNPD (now ex)H holiday madness. I still feel sick at how badly he treated me.

All I can dream of is a quiet life in the country with no people and maybe a dog.  But that's not realistic in my circumstances. I'll be working til I drop.

AOD

[athene1399]

We don't have to be busy all the time. Sometimes we need a break even if it's to recover from being sick.

Maybe you can't live out in the country, but can you still afford a dog? Or a cat? Are there small steps you can take until you get there?

Or your goals could be something more about you as a person and not what you want to physically get, like "I want to start saying no to people if I'm too busy to do what they are asking". Maybe there's something smaller you aren't happy about that you can work on changing. Sometimes it's difficult to know where to start if we weren't allowed to have wants/needs. 

[Associate of Daniel]

Thanks, Athene.  You're right.

I cleaned the toilet today.

Feeling good.

Oh. And I did the dishes from last week and managed to get to 2 of my 3 employments too.

Things are looking up.

Seriously though.  I know it's partly that I'm unwell. But mostly because as an ongoing surviving victim of abuse, I don't have the emotional energy or headspace to deal with more than just surviving the day.

Hopefully in a few years I'll be able to think on a grander scale than just cleaning small areas of my house.

AOD

[1footouttadefog]

Don't despair, it takes time to heal from abuse and get wind in your sails once again.

Don't give up your dream of a country life either.  There are many ways to meet any goal.  Sometimes you have to think out side the box and other times unusual opportunities come along.

A friend of mine wants to, in the long term, become an organic farmer and grow herbs and make tintures and teas etc.  He pd spouse moved the family into a dump of a place on three acres a couple years back them basically left them.

She has managed to pay the rent to own bill.  I remind her she has x months to go and she will own her first farm plot.    Once she owns it, she can invest the rent she pays now into the place and fix it up.  So while life is hell now, in the not so far future she will be a home owner with no debt at early forties.  She will have leap frogged over many same age peers all while struggling for every dollar.   

When her kids are older she can work more and earn more and invest in the dream, all while needing less income during the startup. 

She seriously could not see through the fog that she was in that she is getting to her goal even while suffering daily with poverty.  No she is working as hourly labor for other farmers and getting a free education, more progress toward the goal. Her confidence is increasing as she goes and learns.