Borderline\No Contact Order

[Lunabit]

Long time lurker, first time poster.
My ex husband is said to be borderline by 3 therapists. He wanted to leave, had emotional affair, but got angry that I hired lawyer and moved on. He hoovered then became angry. It has been attempts at punishment ever since. I have been zero contact minus 2 times in 1.5 years. 1 I said to get help when he mentioned suicide. 2 was to give a final legal no contact warning per my new lawyer. He was told by me, 2 lawyers, and my family to leave me alone. He never did. Even put unmailed items in mailbox. The day before the divorce he emptied bank accounts, day after, he cut my power. It was 20 degrees that night. It got quiet as I sued him. His lawyer I suspect. But he still would withhold alimony if he was angry...even waited to send it out on my bday. I said a big NOPE to that. Got his wages garnished. As my lawsuit comes to an end. My lawyer said he is acting completely irrational and after a year of me begging has agreed to get me a " judge ordered civil no contact order" this week. Especially since he had someone (I assume his lady friend/new victim) send an empty envelope to my boyfriend recently.

He is about to lose a lot of money and get served...he doesn't know this last part yet. My question is: will he retaliate? I am very scared, as are my friends and my abuse therapist. My family just call him a scaredy cat. It makes me feel stupid and crazy. He has fantasies about running coworkers over. Should I inform the local police that I may need help? I don't know if I should just shrug it off too and be grateful I will have my protective paper finally? Did any of yours retaliate or was this what was needed to finally get freedom??

[Latchkey]

Hi Lunabit and welcome,

I'm going to recommend you take this evaluation soon.
MOSAIC Method – Online Threat Assessment Tool  developed by Gavin de Becker & Associates

My BPD/ASPD exH scored an 8 out of 10 which is really high- 4 years after we divorced. I know an active court case is a trigger.

I don't think anyone can predict. They say past experience is a good predictor but in reality the PO is a piece of paper. It helped in my case, initially because there was physical abuse toward me and it helped to keep my ex away but he was also scared of the police. At the time I did the Mosaic assessment there was no active PO and I could not get one because there was no recent event so I was very careful and picked my battles as our children were involved.

For many of us, the process of getting away involved slowly or quickly cutting contact. Court battles prolong contact so when possible it's probably safer to avoid them when you fear for your safety.

We are here for you.

Latchkey