Ex-Husband PD accidentally sent me the reciepts for his medications

Arkhangelsk · June 18, 2019, 03:03:52 PM

My ex's lawyer and my lawyer are exchanging a bunch of discovery documents, because he is suing me to increase child support (despite 2 professional degrees and owning what should be a VERY profitable apartment building I gave him in the divorce).

He was supposed to send over any proof that he paid for the kid's prescriptions. He does not pay for any of the kid's prescriptions, so I was surprised when he sent something. Except... he sent his own prescriptions. He seems to be on medicine to treat bi-polar disorder.

This is new information. I have long known about his ADHD and ODD diagnoses. But this makes a lot of sense.

It also makes me sad for my kids. They often tell me that their dad spends his days lying in bed. (He did this when we were married too). But now I have more information that this may be a depressive phase.

Whiteheron · June 18, 2019, 06:24:10 PM

Oh my, that's something that needs to be disclosed. I'm not sure how he could have sent that by accident? Since my stbx has been dx bipolar, we were able to obtain his medical records for the file. (Of course, I don't believe my stbx is bipolar, esp since I've never seen a depressive phase or manic phase from him - just a steady stream of PD behaviors). We weren't asking for the records to be mean - he mentioned something about his mental illness in his 80 page affidavit against me - so my L said that opened the door to ask for his records - maybe the same could be said about the prescriptions your stbx sent over?

athene1399 · June 19, 2019, 07:14:42 AM

I agree with WH. You should see if you can get access to his medical records to see the severity of the BP/type of BP. It is interesting that he sent you the wrong receipts...

Arkhangelsk · June 19, 2019, 12:20:44 PM

He emailed it to his lawyer - who emailed it to mine.

Penny Lane · June 19, 2019, 12:27:23 PM

Do you think it's possible he thinks he's getting some strategic advantage from giving you this information? Or are they both just being extremely sloppy?

Stepping lightly · June 19, 2019, 03:00:02 PM

I agree with PL, it's odd his lawyer would have let this slip through to you too, unless his lawyer is really that lazy and didn't bother to look at what they were sending.

Could it be that he is subversively proving why he can't hold a steady job to push for more support?

Arkhangelsk · July 02, 2019, 12:57:42 PM

It could be that this is on purpose.... but I will happily use it.

If he says he is too mentally ill to work, then I have serious questions about his ability to parent. If he wants to open that door, I will stick my foot right in and see where I can get.

(As I type this, I am sure that there are people with BP out there working very hard to manage their health and parent their kids. So, I just want to clarify that I am only stating a litigation position I am willing to take against this particular person - not suggesting that people with mental illness are not able to parent well in general).

athene1399 · July 03, 2019, 05:58:35 AM

We walk the same line, Arkhangelsk. I'm all for mental health and understanding what others go through and just because someone may have a disorder doesn't mean they can't function, however, in our case (and I'm sure yours) BM uses it as an excuse to get what she wants. That's what makes is so scary IMO. If she needs to take the heat off of her or needs attention, there's a suicide attempt or major depressive issue. It's like she's mentally healthy when it suits her, but if she can get more out of not being healthy she will use that as a means to an end. I get frustrated because lots of people work so hard to end stigma around mental illness and I feel she uses mental illness for attention (or to fuel her victim mentality). I totally understand where you are coming from.

Arkhangelsk · July 03, 2019, 08:36:07 AM

I tend to suspect that my ex does not really admit reality to himself. I think he believes everything he says and does comes from a good place and that he is protecting his kids. He is getting some treatment now, that he was not getting when we were married. But I still suspect he feels totally justified in his behaviors. Somehow he is able to ignore/suppress all evidence to the contrary.

The problem is (and no matter how much I would want to be supportive of illness) - he is hurting me and he is hurting our children. So, pity is a thing I cannot afford to let linger in my heart.