Newbie with a Narcissistic Boyfriend

[veritas]

Hi, been looking for sometime for a place to be able to share, get support and hopefully support others as well. Today I came here since yesterday my boyfriend crossed a line that I know is heading into trouble. To make a story short, we were playing a video game and well, I am not very good but he is. He gets upset since I mess up and well he belittles me. I finally had enough so did not want to play anymore. I told him I am not a gamer like him so I don't do as well as he does. He got all bothered and like all Nars lie, he took it as I had said "all he was was a gamer".  As has been his more recent MO, he tries to get me to push him away by getting in my face. So he once again got in my face, grabbed my hair and yelled at me. He had never grabbed my hair before and needless to say I was terrified. Later as I was at the sink he came in from smoking and once again did the same thing. I was even more scared since a knife was in the sink and I hoped he had not seen it. I hate living this way. I grew up with a father who physically abused my step-mother so I know all about how awful it can be. I am stuck right now with no money, no car and no family. I feel more alone than I ever have felt. Thanks for reading all my gobbly gook. I wish this was not my reality.

[Penny Lane]

Hi veritas and welcome.

Wow, that all sounds really, really scary. The violence and also the escalation. You are definitely not alone, here or in the real world, even if it feels like it right now. And you definitely don't deserve to be treated with violence by your loved ones.



Do you have somewhere safe you could go if it happens again? Do you have an escape plan for if things get worse?

You might consider reading the book "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft. I think that might help you as you're processing during this scary time.

The toolbox here might also give you some tools for when you have to interact with him.

I, too, wish this was not your reality. Others here have been through the same thing as you and faced the same tough choices you have. I hope you find the support you from us.

[bloomie]

veritas - I am thankful you have reached out. What a terrifying experience! It is important to have resources at your fingertips as you figure out how best to go safely forward. Please do not hesitate to call emergency services for help if you feel threatened again and contact your local domestic violence resources for options regarding safe housing and safe ways to removed yourself from danger.

Here are some resources that I hope you will use and a link to Lundy Bancroft's work around domestic abuse and the trauma of this kind of violence that is eye opening and helpful:

http://lundybancroft.blogspot.com

https://outofthefog.website/emergency

https://www.thehotline.org

Keep coming back and let us know you are safe.