"Do you have to?!! Do you?!"

  • 1 Replies
  • 616 Views
*

Writingthepain

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 111
"Do you have to?!! Do you?!"
« on: June 23, 2019, 05:36:54 AM »
The above is a favourite reframe of my npd mom, she uses it to block anything I'm saying, especially if I'm not standing for the fog. She will repeat this praise sometimes adding stuff like "Do yu have to be like this?! Do you have to be so nasty??!! No I, not being aggressive  (she is) I'm just saying blah blah blah, and its you that are being aggressive to me! "( by setting boundaries or getting annoyed at her behaviour )

For some reason I find this phrase of hers very difficult to combat and deal with. I live with her and am severely disabled and unable to live alone. How can I deal with this please?

*

all4peace

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • 8111
Re: "Do you have to?!! Do you?!"
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2019, 09:29:07 AM »
Writingthepain, I just posted in another of your threads asking if you still lived with your parent. Now I'm remembering your situation. Where you live, have you been able to explore any other options for assisted living, group home, anything that would get you into a supportive care environment that isn't your mother? This sounds toxic and deeply upsetting, especially if it's happening on a constant basis. I'm afraid that all the boundaries I can think of may not be possible for you in your current situation, so I wonder if there's any way to leave your current situation. I'm so sorry for what you're facing.