Electronic listening devices

[livinginmyhead]

My daughter and I suspect that for quite some time my husband is tracking our location and listening to what  we talk about.  I don't have anything to hide but it just seems so pathetic to us that he needs to do this either because he's paranoid or he wants to seem omniscient and omnipresent.

He mentions often things that we have never discussed around him and drops hints about things that he shouldn't know about-for example-a purple laptop that she bought and then returned.  We didn't mention this to him at all-she bought it with her money.

To me it just seems like another mind game he is playing because he drops hints about what we talk about away from him.

It doesn't scare me or anything.  My daughter thinks it's creepy and we both think it's kind of pitiful.

Anybody else have a techno creeper in their life?

[SaltwareS]

That's a famous saying in the surveillance/information security community "I don't have anything to hide BUT" which people refute with "I have something to protect" etc.

That's really creepy and would be annoying. But yes if you're in a relationship with someone who is controlling I would believe it's happening.

[GentleSoul]

I can well believe is type of thing a PD would do.   The action of a mentally unwell person.

Is very creepy. 

[Whiteheron]

Yes, yes and YES!

While stbx was having serious mental issues (about 2 yrs before I filed), he would know things he shouldn't have. He knew the topic of a random conversation I had with a teacher at the school, he knew what the kids and I had discussed having for dinner in the car when he was not present, he knew what DS and I had discussed at the breakfast table when he was out of the house. He seemed to know my every move. In all, I wrote down 7-8 incidents where he knew something he definitely should not have known, because he was not present when the topic was discussed.

I took all of my devices to the apple store to have them checked - they were clean. I found an unopened GPS tracking device under the bed, so during my next oil change, I had them check for a hidden GPS device (and yes, I felt silly and paranoid). I searched the house for listening devices and found nothing. One day I was searching in my cluttered trunk for DD's jacket and stbx just about flipped his lid - adding to my suspicion he had some kind of device hidden in my car somewhere.

A few months ago, he accused me, in a court document, of surreptitiously surveilling him and his property. Which sets off alarm bells in my head - this has to be projection.

Since then, the kids and I have all new devices, that I've set up for them, and I managed to get a car that he hasn't had access to.

It is creepy and it's very wrong. In my case, I believe it was (is) all about control - stbx wanted me to know that I couldn't "get away with anything" because he knew everything I said, everything I did, everyone I spoke to. So I'd better behave or else.

[sad_dog_mommy]

I think a common theme among PDs is a lack of boundaries.  Do I think someone would put a surveillance program on their significant others phone or car?  YES

My (diagnosed) BPDexbf put a keylogger on my computer and he tracked me with the 'find my friends' app.   If we were still together when that kind of tracking/surveillance technology was available for my iPhone I am sure he would have installed it without my knowledge.    There are TONS of apps available to secretly track someone.   Of course they were designed for employers or concerned parents but I think tracking spouses is probably the most common use.    Here is a short list of the names of tracking apps.  FoneMonitor, mSpy,  Couple Tracker Free, Spyzie and Mobile Spy Agent.

BUT here is the good news!  There are apps to check for spyware!   Google Certo Software on a computer he has no access to.   

Until you have time to go to your cell provider's store you can disable the microphone on your phone for any apps that are able to access it.   I can walk you through the steps if you have an iPhone.  Disabling the microphone will not affect your ability to make calls or use the speaker phone.   Don't forget, tracking apps can be installed on tablets too.

I am sorry you are experiencing this.  I know how it feels to have your senses kick into overdrive when they reference something they should not know.   I think my ex would mention it as a way to control me.    I pictured him saying "See?  I know everything"


You are not alone.   ((( hug )))

[Cascade]

There have been things my husband has known that he shouldn't have, things I have texted or said.  My husband is very snoopy so I wouldn't put it past him to use devices or apps. I have since gotten a new phone and put a password on it, and checked my computer. Even now though I am careful with what I text, just as a precaution. 

[Daywalker]

There are apps for your phone you can use to check if you are being spied on by electronic devices. Go to your app store and search: spy electronic devices
A whole bunch will come up. Look for one with high ratings. I would test a few , just to be sure.
Goodluck

[1footouttadefog]

There arw devices thst are made to look for anything emmitting a radio signal, and any thing emmitting imfra red light.

Hidden cameras often use a beam or infra red light to auto focus. 

Many people use such devoces to checl hotel rooms and air bnb rentals and the like.  They are availabke via amazon amd similar online retialers.

[Free2Bme]

Yup....
1) Pre-divorce: he had a "security" camera in living room so we could 'check up' on kids when we were out, and had an app on his phone to view our living room remotely.  He would use it to surveille me in our home after he had gone to bed, IN THE NEXT ROOM. 
2) He broke into our home 5 hours after I had police remove him for DV, while I was asleep, I heard his phone go off.    Very... 'Sleeping with the Enemy'.
3)   During divorce he sent me emails that would later vanish, I thought I was losing my mind because of the stress I was under.  I later learned about "self-destructing" emails.
4) When I finally left him, my teen daughter kept telling me "dad knows stuff that I never told him", info she and I discussed privately.  We suspected that a device had been planted in my SUV, which was his prior to divorce so he had opportunity.  I sold the car.
5)  He stalked me at Dr. appointment, I was so frightened. 
6) Drive-by's when we were separated.
7) Now, he just uses children to get info.

Now that I see all of this in black and white, it seems surreal, and pathetic.  I'm so sorry that all of you went through this too 

[1footouttadefog]

They sell a device for travelers to check for devices in hotels and air bnb rentals.

It can detect radio signals being trained and also looks for the infrared beam that cameras use to auto focus.

[StayWithMe]

I'd like to commiserate on the basis that uf you confide in others irl, they will think are crazy for thinking that a family member could do that to you. And sometimes accuse you of thinking that you're so important.

My mother introduced me  to a woman that I thought I got along. But then I noticed that

[StayWithMe]

......... my mother was telling when we were in touch with one another
1. who initiated the contact
2. by what means - e-mail or phone
3. when - today or yesterday
4. time of day - morning, afternoon evening......

by the third incident I told myself that this was not a coincidence.  I told a friend with whom I had a history of sharing confidences; and we would commiserate with on another.  I was really surprised when she found hard to believe that there was any intent to keep tabs on me.

then i noticed some bits of conversation were being repeated.  I tried to downshift the relationship but this woman would have none of it. I suppose she valued the attention that my parents gave her.

In any case, I've developed one important rule.  Don't confide in anyone who knows how to contact my family.

[1footouttadefog]

What's that saying," just because your paranoid does not mean they aren't watching you." Lol

There are so many apps and programs for computer saying it's not even funny.

I was a computer tech and installed some a few times, in my line of work.  One situation was a couple who were being counseled by a pastor.  He called me in to talk with them about such programs as the husband had a huge porn problem that was not only harming the marriage, it was putting them at legal risk.  I installed programs on ask devices w/o he and the wife would be accountable to each other, at their request, with informed consent. He needed internet access for g. I .Bill course work at college so giving up internet was a hurdle.

Anyway there are programs that send snaps of the screen and printouts of all keystrokes to an email address. The will also send phone, text message data, and gps data.  They will record audio and send it as well.  Some will take camera pics front and back facing. Som allow being logged into for remote real time monitoring.

There is a reason all the big tech giants habe tape and bandaids over their cameras when interviewed on TV.

But if you do it you feel paranoid.  No, its a real risk don't feel bad for protecting your self.

A common avoid snoop program is called flexispy.  It shows in apps as a sync manager.  You habe to touch the three dot menu and select show system programs to see it.

Others and that one cam also come in forms that don't show in the cops list at all.

If unsure, back up your phone and app data then reset phone ro factory settings. Do this reset with SIM card out.  Then connect to Wi-Fi and download some anti virus and anti malware then put in SIM card and scan it.