Wanted: Stories of terrible bosses

[EntWife]

My husband's former boss (and owner of his company) actively looks for excuses to fire anyone who doesn't participate in "meetings" that involved 12+ hours of drinking, doing cocaine, stealing random things like library books, hanging out at strip clubs, and keeping it all secret from his wife. I've yet to find someone's description of a "terrible boss" that compares to this guy. Has anyone found any?

[Hazy111]

This is a rich mine on here. PD bosses in the workplace

Not on your husbands former boss level.

I once had a regular chronically insecure bullying paranoid sociopath. Finding fault, nit picking and micro managing. Blatant lying . Belittling and humiliation of people . Triangulation. Flare ups with junior staff, reducing them to tears. Waging low level smear campaigns to undermine people forcing them to leave or getting them fired. Constantly projecting his insecurities onto others.  But a workaholic that never wanted to go home and expected others to do the same.

Around more senior staff he was obsequious and fawning. Nauseating to watch

Hes still there and in a semi important management role that no right thinking person would take on, due to the hours involved  and weve all gone.

[JollyJazz]

Hi Entwife,

It definitely sounds like your husbands former boss was right up there in terms of awful-ness. A friend of mine told me about a boss of hers that was similar - he only employed people that would like to drink (a lot) and would bully out anyone that didn't. After work was just a massive booze fest.

I've experienced some horrible bosses - about 6 months ago I left a workplace where I had a covert PD boss - she seemed nice at first but turned into a real bully behind closed doors, false accusations, gas lighting, smear campaigns you name it! I was so glad to leave!!! I'm still building back my confidence but getting there.

I've worked in quite a few places so I've had a couple of other bully bosses - the picking on junior staff / temps / anyone vulnerable in some way and greasing up to those in power is something they always did too.

Ughh. As if working full time isn't hard enough without those kind of people in the workplace!

[DaisyGirl77]

I also had a very nasty covert uNPD boss about 15 years ago by now.  All we needed to see was a particular look she gave when she walked in the door in the mornings or a particular "hmph" she did around the same time to know what we'd be in for:  nitpicking, micromanaging, becoming angry when her employees had to complete something else on their agenda before they could get to her requests/demands, yelling at you in a room known to be an echo chamber for maximum humiliation.  Looks of sympathy from coworkers & customers afterward...  You name it, she did it.

I like to read this website, www.askamanager.org, for workplace shenanigans.  It runs from the mild, run-of-the-mill, advice to letters that'll have you screeching WHAT?! at your screen.  I've found it helpful in a lot of situations within work & outside work in my life since I started reading.

[clara]

The worst boss I ever had was a sociopath.  The stereotypical charming sociopath who used everyone he came in contact with.  But what really made the situation bad were the people who refused to see  him for what he was because he was (subtly and not-so-subtly) bribing them to be on his "side."  People I thought would know better went along with him and his behavior because they were benefitting by doing so.  It really opened my eyes about how ugly people can be, especially in the workplace.  I never saw co-workers in the same way, again, and in a way I blame them much more than the sociopath for how bad things got, because they knew better.  The sociopath was just being himself--a sociopath (and yes, his destructive behavior extended to himself as well, and eventually he was fired after getting arrested on drug charges), but those who turned a blind eye had no such excuse. 

[Hazy111]

Clara,

You make a good point and i think this happens in all workplaces just as it did in school.

If a please the bully, then maybe i wont be the subject of his ire and ill turn a blind eye to his terrible behavior to others. I wonder where people learned such techniques? From home life of course, dealing with PD parents. Its my contention that PD is far more common and the norm not the exception.

Nothing is to be gained by putting "your head above the parapet" or making a stand in the workplace. If the managers are productive, then firms also overlook bad behavior.

With the manager i was talking about, a female junior worker finally snapped with his abuse (i actually witnessed the scene, screaming at her ) and made a formal complaint. A senior manager was sent down from HQ to interview everyone about his behavior and i thought this is it, a chance to get rid of him, i was telling people. But i was naive. When the moment came too many people blamed her not him. They started making excuses for him. I couldnt believe what i was hearing. I was out of the office the day he came and was never ever asked my views. I realised it was just a token effort. The manager  got a slap on the wrist about his behavior ( i assume) and carried on as before and she got made redundant within the year. 

Interestingly, i used to listen a radio "phone in" and the presenter said the most calls she ever received on the complete myriad of subjects she covered over the years was always when she discussed "workplace bullying".

[KeepingMyBlue]

They called her "nice nasty" and she was like teflon. Nothing seemed to stick. Holier than thou, my word is law-until I get bored and change it, and I'll tell you if you're lucky, but abide by it anyway.

The type that visits ppl in the hospital or funerals "to pray" (gossip about them later).

Doesn't write people up...because then she loses guilt equity, and tell on herself. Forgives ppl for standing up for themselves, then uses that to manipulate.

Calls meetings over "Should we capitalize this word?" And they turn into forced socializing. If you can hold your tongue, you might earn her good graces, but don't leave, even for the restroom, and have all your work done, even though she took up 2 hours crying on your shoulder because her 30+ year old daughter just learned she can live without you making her appointments.

Literal competition between her and her boss over who was more micromanagey.

Once her junior, always hers. No matter what department you move to. Her boss didn't see an issue with her "training" me for another department, behind that manager's back. She was sometimes part of these meetings. Physically blocking my cubicle, which is when I started filing official complaints, which magically got misplaced. When I found ways to avoid getting blocked in, meetings moved to hallways.  She would tell total strangers to stop listening. "We're in a meeting 😐"

Held up an important project 6 months or more with rule changes. We redid one week's work "the right way", more times than I could count, for at least a solid month. Yes, her boss knew why, I told her. Lady Teflon kept obstructing. If Boss Boss was taking action, I never saw it.  Then who got punished when the project came due?

Blocked my job applications to leave the building. (Paranoia doesn't make it untrue.) So I ended up taking a pay cut just to leave.

You can't put a price on peace of mind.

Maybe not worse, but add my NM's mask slipping, and it was a nice slice of hell for me.

[xredshoesx]

i had an admin who ended up losing his job because he kept calling me and another coworker '504 plan'.  to our faces, no less, like when one of us asked a question in a meeting he'd be "what is it now, 504 plan???"  right before he got escorted out there were like 6-7 of us who had to band together because we figured out he was trying to turn us all against one another...and then once we got together we had to have meetings in secret to debrief/ discuss next steps for close to a month before HR gave him the boot.  there were also abusive emails and times he would call us into the office and just berate us.  another favorite tactic was to tell us 'june 15th' every time he was us (the end of our contract year) as a threat like we were gonna all get non-renewed.  i was fortunate to already be well involved here so i had the support of the community as well as a really good T (and anti- anxiety meds which also helped).

[Hazy111]

They called her "nice nasty" and she was like teflon. Nothing seemed to stick. Holier than thou, my word is law-until I get bored and change it, and I'll tell you if you're lucky, but abide by it anyway.

The type that visits ppl in the hospital or funerals "to pray" (gossip about them later).

Doesn't write people up...because then she loses guilt equity, and tell on herself. Forgives ppl for standing up for themselves, then uses that to manipulate.

Calls meetings over "Should we capitalize this word?" And they turn into forced socializing. If you can hold your tongue, you might earn her good graces, but don't leave, even for the restroom, and have all your work done, even though she took up 2 hours crying on your shoulder because her 30+ year old daughter just learned she can live without you making her appointments.

Literal competition between her and her boss over who was more micromanagey.

Once her junior, always hers. No matter what department you move to. Her boss didn't see an issue with her "training" me for another department, behind that manager's back. She was sometimes part of these meetings. Physically blocking my cubicle, which is when I started filing official complaints, which magically got misplaced. When I found ways to avoid getting blocked in, meetings moved to hallways.  She would tell total strangers to stop listening. "We're in a meeting 😐"

Held up an important project 6 months or more with rule changes. We redid one week's work "the right way", more times than I could count, for at least a solid month. Yes, her boss knew why, I told her. Lady Teflon kept obstructing. If Boss Boss was taking action, I never saw it.  Then who got punished when the project came due?

Blocked my job applications to leave the building. (Paranoia doesn't make it untrue.) So I ended up taking a pay cut just to leave.

You can't put a price on peace of mind.

Maybe not worse, but add my NM's mask slipping, and it was a nice slice of hell for me.

Going off subject, forgive me, but I like your style of posting KeepingMyBlue, it read like a crime novel. "They called her nice nasty". Any more instalments?

[KeepingMyBlue]

[/quote]

Going off subject, forgive me, but I like your style of posting KeepingMyBlue, it read like a crime novel. "They called her nice nasty". Any more instalments?
[/quote]

Someone read my rant! I have too many years of stories. I could compile them with a title " The Dangers of Tenure"

I needed that laugh so much. Thanks Hazy111!