The hardest part is.....

[Miranda]

Since the incident on September 15th, I truly see how my two closest so called friends really are. "When they show you who they are believe them"  For me, it's so hard to even accept or believe in my mind and heart that they can be so emotionally detached.  I go from anger to telling myself 'let it go, move on.  to why should I take this!!

My daughter has not been in her home since Sept. 15th when the tractor trailer crashed. Battles with insurance companies have kept the 200 thousand in damages from being done. They were sleeping in their beds at 1:30 am and blocks, glass and debri came through landing on the bed. It's nothing but a miracle they are alive. The driver passed away. His truck crushed like an accordian.

We are all tramatized. I can't forget the helicopter, the cop cars, the sirens, the flashing lights, the truck with a dead driver, us walking around in glass and debi, in the darkness.  I had no one to talk to. How can friends plus even family be so heartless. The community raised money and have been wonderful!! Strangers even were amazing. Not friends or family tho.....

I am determined to be more of a loner than I already was. The people I helped, listened to, and supported for 50 years are absent, and that has destroyed my deep seated believe that family and friends are needed.  Not for me anymore. 

[moglow]

It's nothing but a miracle they are alive.

I hate sounding like pollyanna but sometimes when life goes hard sideways, our best option is to adjust our focus and look for the blessings. In this situation the big takeaway is: None of your family were injured [I don't think?] and everyone is alive. There's emotional fallout to be sure, and that will take time to overcome. In the interim the house will be repaired and broken things can be replaced, but a lot in their world is very much unsettled and up in the air. 

Patience is probably very hard to come by right about now, but continue to seek and share it. Our job as the adults is to continue to reassure the young ones that all is well and try to not dwell on the fears and bad stuff. Much easier said than done, but stepping back and looking from a place of safety will be much more reassuring all the way around.

As for your friends, people can be and are detached many times because they have their own stuff, plus knowing there is not one thing they can do. Maybe they simply don't want to add to the chaos with their own or can't take on one more thing without caving. We don't have to take an all or nothing approach, but maybe can learn to give others grace with their perceived failings just as we'd want with our own.

Like user said, seek your comforting activities and share them with your family when you're able. Find out what comforts them and provide opportunity to enjoy them.

[Miranda]

5 months in, and though I agree with you user and moglow, about my child and grandchildren being ok, and that I should find something that takes my mind away, and I try to do those things, I am still not willing to dismiss friends who totally let me sit alone waiting for a text or note of care. Sure we all have our stuff, I do get that and understand it completely, but even in my stuff, my issues or bad days.... I would never abandon them.

 They don't know what to say, no I do not accept that excuse. I suppose I live and think differently than they do, but I see that compassion rarely exists anymore.  I am proud I have been in the past  there for family and friends, and feel deeply about not allowing others to be hurt or sad.

[bloomie]

They don't know what to say, no I do not accept that excuse. I suppose I live and think differently than they do, but I see that compassion rarely exists anymore.  I am proud I have been in the past  there for family and friends, and feel deeply about not allowing others to be hurt or sad.

Miranda - I sure do get this place you find yourself settling into with the lack of support you experienced with these friends and certain family members.

You can appreciate the memories made and at the same time not have the desire to make any more. It is wisdom to no longer choose people who do not seem to be choosing you. I trust you and your family are beginning to rebuild and slowly heal.

[Miranda]

Bloomie, Thank You! You said it so well! Moving on has been hard, but I never want to be hurt that way again

We put new windows in my daughters house so she could move back in. Insurance companies bickering over who will pay for the new roof and siding. The tractor trailer destroyed so much, but it will be replaced eventually. My precious girls are alive!

Thank you Bloomie for thinking of us    Have a Blessed Day