Frequently Changing Jobs/Interests

blunk · July 11, 2019, 09:00:35 AM

This topic came to mind while I was answering another post about PDs being jealous of us. I am curious, but didn't want to hijack the other post. Is frequently changing jobs/interests a PD trait?

My bpdxh had a very large number of jobs in the time that we were together. He was a cook, carpenter, stage hand, office cleaner, HVAC installer, shipping and receiving clerk, warehouse worker, and I'm sure there are more that I am forgetting. He went to school for computer networking (completed but never worked in the field) and photography/website design (quit because he could not pass the required 100 level math class, despite me tutoring him).

And this is not to mention all of the jobs he wanted to have...he wanted to own a coffee shop (he was going to run the shop and decided I would manage the business end despite having a full time job and working part time because he was on unemployment), he wanted to drive a truck, and probably the most outlandish he wanted to start a wedding photography business where he would shoot the wedding and then go on the honeymoon with people to photograph their trips (yeah, everybody wants a PD 3rd wheel on their honeymoon).

That's not even getting into the numerous hobbies he started but never followed through on, and by started I mean purchased every piece of gear he could find...and then loose interest a short time later.

11JB68 · July 11, 2019, 09:40:09 AM

I do feel like my uOCPDh does this to an extent. I feel part of it is he burns bridges or gets frustrated and had to move on. Also he wants to be dining something where he's in charge. Also if he appears to not be the best/expert hotel find something else.

Andeza · July 11, 2019, 12:46:58 PM

Granted this is second hand knowledge as I wasn't born yet, but I recently found out that the jobs my uBPDM used to brag about doing so well at... well, not so much. My former enD, now recovering since the divorce, informed me that my M couldn't hold a job for more than a year or so before she would start flaking out and "make" him call her boss/manager for sick days, etc. Sick days she would blame on questionable symptoms if you follow...

I figured out that, like everything else, when it got too tough for her and she couldn't fake her way through anymore, she gave up. Oh but she was the best "fill in the blank job title here" at whatever she was doing. She didn't finish her college degree because she got homesick... Worked only briefly, like six months, in that actual field, and then job hopped for years prior to becoming a stay-at-home mom. Now she's just a stay-at-home divorcee slowly melting her brain in front of a TV all day.

11JB68 · July 11, 2019, 09:29:13 PM

Andeza, "and "make" him call her boss/manager for sick days,"....
Early in our marriage uOCPDh would 'make' me do this for him...it's one of the first things I remember being really uncomfortable about

athene1399 · July 12, 2019, 08:05:56 AM

SO's BPDxw does this. I almost wonder if some of it is like trying on different hats to see which one will fit, but never feeling satisfied (if my metaphor makes sense). While they were married she got a degree for x. After she graduated had a meltdown so quit doing x and started doing y. Then almost lost her job at y for attendance issues, so started doing x again. For the last three years hasn't been able to stay in a place for more than 5 mo. Is still determined to do x so is mainly unemployed trying to find a place in the field that she hasn't burned her bridges at. Started doing z on the side, but after a week "The fun wore off" so she won't do it even if she has no other job. She's also done all those selling makeup/purses/lotions that you see on the internet all the time but she does one event then is over it.

I think she like the idea of working, but not actually doing it. And she cannot work under pressure or keep it together long enough not to have a meltdown or piss off upper management by talking back.

Cascade · July 12, 2019, 10:38:08 PM

Yes, my husband acquired many hobbies, based more on the hobbies his coworkers had than on his own interests. At least that is the way it has seemed since he lost interest so fast but not before spending lots of money on equipment that is now just filling up our home. He's managed to be stable in his jobs for the most part but he's always on the lookout for the perfect job, and enjoys going to job interviews.

sunshine702 · July 16, 2019, 06:16:26 PM

My NPD Mom was like this not so much with jobs - more hobbies or things.

She wouldbe "into" things and flaunt it around for awhile then get rid of it. Chinese medicine one month. Stocks the next. In my childhood this happened with animals quite a bit. We got 2 llamas and one point - gone within 2 years. But only after we got in the newspaper with them. We also had rabbits and then they were gone. The most painful was the 3 dogs one for each kid. My mother actually gave away Scapegoat's dog. A Siberian Husky named Tavi. There was nothing wrong. My brother loved it - she just was bored - the newness "special" breed had worn off so give away - gone.

athene1399 · July 17, 2019, 08:12:17 AM

That is so sad about the dog, Sunshine.

I am sorry this happened.

sunshine702 · July 17, 2019, 01:20:42 PM

Quote from: athene1399 on July 17, 2019, 08:12:17 AM
That is so sad about the dog, Sunshine. I am sorry this happened.

The cure is in my own heart. ❤ I love dogs now - I get rescues and they are with us until they pass over the Rainbow Bridge.

She asks sometimes if I still have S - OF COURSE I say.