Complex PTSD

[qwezrty]

Hey,

II've written in other posts about how much I'm struggling with my uBPDm. I am trying to go NC but I'm finding it very difficult. I can't seem to function anymore and often feel so rubbish. I have been reading into C-PTSD, most of the symptoms seem to describe how I am these days: emotion regulation difficulties, periods of time where I am completely spaced out and do not know how the hours go by (unsure if this is disassociation), feeling helplessness and guilt, preoccupied (psychologically) with my relationship with mother, isolating myself from people. I just feel awful. I am on a waiting list for therapy but unsure how long it will be.

Does anyone have thoughts on C-PTSD, the diagnosis or treatment?

[athene1399]

Can you pinpoint why you feel like rubbish? Maybe try journalling through some of the emotions to see why they are there. Do you just not know who you are without M? Are you stressed about the NC?

Are there triggers when you space out? I've been trying to identify mine. I do space out for different reasons. I used to daydream I was someone else. Someone more powerful, more attractive, more popular, more likeable. That has decreased a lot, but I still space out if something reminds me of trauma from childhood. There may not even be a trigger.

Why are you isolating from others? Is there a reason?

In regards to therapy, I've heard EMDR is really good for processing trauma. I want to try schema therapy myself. I've honestly not tried either. I write through a lot of my problems though. Writing really helps me. Venting on this site helps too. Sometimes I just want to be seen or heard. Sometimes I just have to feel the anger over what happened, then work through that.

You don't have to answer these questions. I'm just trying to get you to think about it. This must be a difficult time for you. I hope you start feeling better soon.

[Psuedonym]

Hey qwertzy,

The one I've heard over and over as the gospel on c-PTSD is From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. I have downloaded but not yet read it. Richard Grannon also has a number of videos about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgkZvXVQ40Q He has a free course you can do as well

The essence is what you are describing: the flashback is an emotional one and not tied to a particular memory, but can leave you with overwhelming feelings that don't seem tied to anything. The first step is to be aware of what is happening and then to work on new behaviors/thought patterns. Hope this helps a bit!

[Amadahy]

I am healing from c-ptsd through energy/body therapies like craniosacral therapy and reiki and through talk therapy coupled with EMDR.  I hope you can access therapy soon — the EMDR especially has been life-changing. I still have the abuse memories, but the emotional charge is gone. 

  please be gentle with yourself.  Recovery is damned hard work.

[carrots]

Does anyone have thoughts on C-PTSD, the diagnosis or treatment?

Have you tried the sister forum: https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php There are many thoughts there as well as experience and lots of support.

I have cptsd too but too many thoughts to begin to write down. I agree with Amadahy though that recovery is really hard work. Mine goes very slowly too, compared to the general pace I see on here at Out of the FOG.