FOO stuff dredged up tonight

  • 2 Replies
  • 418 Views
*

11JB68

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 1862
FOO stuff dredged up tonight
« on: August 01, 2019, 12:43:04 AM »
Wasn't sure which board to post in, I guess this fits best here.
UOCPDH was reorganizing his office. He has lots of files in a cabinet and file boxes, 3 ring binders etc. Some biz stuff, family, financial etc.
It is very telling that we have a whole hanging file labeled 'crazy family'.
5 subfolders, 5 different family members, both sides.
It's amazing either of us can function at all.
One involves the time when my grandparents were divorcing after decades of marriage.
I guess it's too long of a story for tonight, so maybe I'll write more tomorrow.
I was dragged into the drama, against my better judgment. Wasn't fully aware back then, totallyin the fog, with enmeshment and fleas!
There's a letter that I wrote to dear engm's lawyer, addressing concerns about gf's behavior.
I had completely forgotten some of the details.
First I felt better after reading it (I had feltsome guilt about my involvement). Then felt badly again (after some comments by my uocpdh). Then sort of felt ok again.
But boy it brought up a lot of issues for me...

*

xredshoesx

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • 15661
Re: FOO stuff dredged up tonight
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2019, 08:43:38 AM »
i'm kind of going through something similar with the reading of my teenage journals.   i keep telling myself i did the best as i knew how too as a kid. the other thing i have to do is be thankful that i grew away from those behaviors/ responses and have a more aware life now where i can use boundaries and the toolbox vs returning to the poor coping skills i was employing then.

be gentle with yourself today.


*

11JB68

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 1862
Re: FOO stuff dredged up tonight
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2019, 08:52:09 AM »
Thanks redshoes!
The other problem with this is that it was an emotionally charged issue, I've been trying to steer clear of discussing anything emotional with uOCPDh as I'm trying to stay mc, the only way to avoid pd breakdowns. However it was uOCPDh who came across this letter so there was no real way to avoid it.  I considered not reading it at all,  but curiosity got the better of me.
At one point when he kept going back to it I did say that I really didn't want to continue the discussion any further (setting a boundary), which fortunately he respected.
So weird though, that he knew I was bothered, then chose to pick at me for something ridiculous soon after. He has a knack for setting that in vulnerable and then exploiting that.
Then keptasking me 'are you mad at me?'
Ugh