Slowly getting through this

[CoffeeCup2]

I expected to be further along, but I'm not.

Some of the good things that have been happening - I'm setting boundaries, I'm giving up on acquaintances that aren't worth my time, I'm saying no to things I really don't want to do. If I want to be alone, I choose to be alone as opposed to doing something.

Unfortunately I'm still struggling with a lot of things.  Maybe it's struggling, maybe it's not, I'm not sure. For starters I've given up on wearing makeup and making myself look fancy every day in the hopes that "some cute guy might recognize me and tell someone he's interested in getting to know me!!"  I no longer care about that happening so therefore, y'all are getting the natural look on a daily basis. I've stopped being so incessant about my diet and need to exercise. I'm at a perfect weight now, and quite frankly, I enjoy running and exercising maybe 2 times a week. I also enjoy treats (ice cream!) a few times a week.

Unfortunately I'm not quite at the point where I can enjoy a drink. One leads to four, and I feel terrible. I used alcohol to cope with uNPDx, so it still resonates with me. Someday I would love to be able to just have a beer and leave it at that, without associating it somehow with uNPDx.

It's such a slow journey.

[athene1399]

It is a slow journey.

I'm not sure if this is what's going on, but to me it sounds like you feel more confident. You don't need the make-up every day. You don't have to work out constantly to look good; you do it when you want to because you enjoy it. You let yourself enjoy a  treat when you want to.

It's taken me about ten years to get the alcohol under control and I still go overboard once in a blue moon. But I've made a lot of progress even if I'm not right where I want to be, and I'm sure you have too! Plus you mentioned all the things you're doing good at, like boundaries and being comfortable being alone. Focus on how far you've come and not how much longer you have to go.