Sister is visiting and I am emotionally done

[soccer23]

So I live with my uBPD mother. My sister has always been the golden child which my therapist and I believe has formed in uNPD. She has come to visit for the weekend and before she even came done I got a lecture from my mother about how I need to be home because she is family and she needs us to have some type of relationship. Well last time I saw my sister in a family setting I ended up drinking wine and crying on the bathroom floor. It never goes good because I am the family "fuck-up" and both my mother and sister remind me of that on a regular basis. I have told myself that I will spend one night home with them and that is in. However I know that the guilt trips will be so severe that I don't know which one is worse. Should I endure the pain of the abuse or endure the guilt trips. What has my life come to that there are my options. I avoid being home like it is the plague which has caused the guilt trips to multiple. Why can't there be a option where I am not being abused? Why can't I have a family that is healthy and treats me with respect? Why is my only option to move out and cut them off? Grieving is hard and I don't even have a home to do it in.

[SerenityCat]

  I'm sorry that you are going through this.

One step at a time, you can shake off the negative labels your family have put on you. You do not need to act those out anymore. You cannot control what they say and believe about you. But you can control what you believe about yourself.

You have worth. You deserve a good life. You do not deserve abuse.

You eventually can be the captain of your own ship.

I was abused by my PD parents. I had to limit contact and work on myself, with therapy.

I learned how to cope with guilt and shame. I talked back to those inaccurate messages and replaced them with healthy supportive ones.

I wish you peace and recovery. Eventually you will have a safe home and support.

[Blueberry Pancakes]

First of all it seems you have great clarity on what aspects you are dealing with among your family members. Knowledge like you have is power.
It sounds like you have already identified your boundary of spending one night with them, so my opinion is to stay with that. One night. During that night, use grey rock. Do not disclose information about your future plans, friends, or deep feelings. That way, they cannot use it against you. Do not interact too much, just smile and laugh and let them be the focus so it is taken off you. Use non committal replies such as "I don't really know", "Hmmm, I wonder", or "I'll think about that." The objective is to get through your sister's visit without giving them access to your inner world. Keep your cards close and reveal nothing.     
As far as your larger questions about why you cannot have an option where your family treats you better, where you are not abused, where you are not driven to decide between continued abuse or no contact, I think those are great questions that we all have. The tricky thing is that those all depend on the actions and thoughts of others, which we cannot control. We can only control how we behave, what thoughts we allow to enter our mind, and the dialog we have with ourselves. I would say to keep mindful of those things and be sure that they support your best self, your talents, and your innate goodness.