Anyone scapegoats afraid you won't be able to show good example to your kids?

[Blueberry Pancakes]

Well, I guess I will just jump in and express one of my hugest fears.  Most of the time, I actually feel confident and stable. Sometimes though, I waiver. For anyone else who has been the family scapegoat, are you ever afraid of what your kids might eventually think of you? Are you afraid your kids will grow up and take on the same perspectives against you that others in your family have? If you encounter challenges as all of us do, does it ever cross your mind that your kids might see you struggle and interpret it as being weak, like we have heard so often from others in our FOO? I wonder if I am alone in that. I also wonder if you can share any things you do to guard against it?  Perhaps the best we can all do is keep on the healthy track that we have started on, and just have faith that things will work out.  Have faith that our kids will be able to see our innate goodness, our unique strenghts, and believe in us?  Am I too optimistic?  I know we cannot control how our kids will ultimately think of us, but I would just like to think that they will not grow up, see me as a screw up, and think everyone in my family was right about me. 
     

[Call Me Cordelia]

In short: Yes. They might have different opinions from ours about the choices we made. And that's allowed!!! Unlike our FOOs who scapegoated us, we are recognizing their freedom to be themselves, make up their own minds, and be free of abuse. If they grow up and have no idea what that feels like... we won.