En-sis trying to drag me into drama with uBPm and nonF

[gcj07a]

So, just got a text from my en-Sis letting me know that my nonF has told my uBPm that he has never loved her and wishes she were dead. I responded by reiterating one of my boundaries, namely that I don't want unsolicited information about the conflict between my parents. She returned that after talking to nonF that she is worried that uBPm is in danger. I called nonF and asked and he clarified what was actually said (it is true he never loved her; he married her so she wouldn't kill herself; he did not say he wished she was dead, but did say that he hoped the next illness (she has a number of real and a number of fake ailments) killed her quickly so she didn't linger in misery. This is a sentiment she has also expressed) and told me that en-Sis has written him off because she is totally fogged by uBPm. I then replied to en-Sis and said that I was confident uBPm was safe, but if she was truly worried she was free to have the police do a welfare check. This is the first time I have really stayed true to the boundaries I have set (me taking back control is relatively new), but I am nervous that I did the wrong thing. Fear has me irrationally worried that she is in danger and that I am reading the situation all wrong. Just looking for some reassurance. Thanks!

[WomanInterrupted]

You did the right thing - you *verified* and shared the intel with your sister.  What she does with it from there, is up to her.   

If your parents are anything like UnBPD Didi and unNPD Ray, they say that kind of crap to each other, all the time.  Didi used to complain bitterly and endlessly that Ray said this, that, the other, he's SO mean and cruel and she's so so SO sick that she wishes she were dead...   

I used to try to comfort and console her, until I figured out my boundary was NOT hearing more than one sentence on any subject, before shutting it down. 

"That's a shame."  "Sorry to hear it."  "Gosh." - and abrupt topic change. 

Your mom is still using your sister as her emotional dumping ground and probably getting comfort  and consolation from her, too.   Just because your sister is still in the FOG, doesn't mean you have to be, so restating your boundary to her was GOOD.

But, be warned - if your sister is still concerned and does ask for welfare check, your parents are going to band together and probably breathe hell and damnation down on *you.*

Typical, right?  Sister call the police, you get in trouble for it. 

If that happens, just let the calls go to voice and delete them.  You don't need to hear it.  Not your circus, not your monkeys.