Traits from differing PD's?

[Jorainbow]

I've been reading the website information on PD's particularly NPD which has been mentioned to me about my H but I can see only 2 of the traits in him. He has no self esteem or confidence and lacks the grandiose bragging but has lack of empathy and is envious. He is volatile, has a horrendous temper, almost split personality and sulks. Is it possible to fit into more than one PD? Or is it simply too complicated!

[Poison Ivy]

My "I am not a professional" opinion is that yes, it is possible for an individual to have traits or characteristics of more than one type of personality disorder.  My ex-husband, for example, seems to have some traits of avoidant personality disorder and some traits of dependent personality disorder but doesn't have all the traits of either.

[Jorainbow]

Thank you. I'm on a huge learning curve here!

[Whiteheron]

Absolutely! My stbx is dx bipolar II. In my completely unprofessional opinion, he is a delightful mix of BPD/NPD/PPD/ASPD. In that order. He has 6-7 of the 9 traits for BPD, but everything is all about him or what people can do for him, so he's pretty strong on the NPD scale, he has at least 2 traits from PPD and ASPD thrown in for fun. It's an inexact label with lots of overlap. I've heard there is also overlap between separate mental illnesses - for example, my stbx can be both bipolar and PD...

I printed it all out and checked traits off. In the end, I realized it didn't matter exactly which one I thought he had, just that he was abusive and that he checks off the majority of the 100 Traits from the toolbox.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Yup! In my non-professional opinion (validated by my T but diagnoses don't work by hearsay), my father fits NPD, BPD, ASPD, and OCPD. Mom is NPD and OCPD. What fun! 

And there's always Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified! You know, for those eclectic types. 

Tolstoy wrote, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." After learning about dysfunctional families and PDs for the last two years I'm not sure I entirely agree. Too many similar experiences on here.

There are only so many ways to be dysfunctional. Combined in different ways like various recipes made of similar ingredients in varying amounts. But I'm believing more and more that when we crack the code and figure out a different way of living with boundaries and personal integrity, we can be confident in ourselves no matter what brand of crazy they throw at us.

Have you ever seen the Matrix? Once Neo cracks the code he can fight the agents with one hand behind his back in super fast motion while yawning. And Agent Smith is just losing his ever-loving mind, but there ain't nothing he can do about it. I'll have to use that image when my PD's are acting up again!

Welcome and I hope that helps!

[Jorainbow]

I do recall my counsellor sayng everyone has these traits on a spectrum it just depends at which point that tips into disorder I guess! I love the Matrix and the analogy. Thankfully I only have one 'agent' to deal with. Just need to find my Trinity outfit 😂😂

[Whiteheron]

Oh, now I need to rewatch the Matrix tonight! It's been too many years since I've seen it.

If you listen to Kris Godinez on youtube, she does talk about the different disorders in a few of her videos, she explains the differences between PD's and that there is a spectrum - a sliding scale that goes from "traits of" all the way to "malignant." If you look for her older (and shorter) videos, I believe it was one of those.

[1footouttadefog]

My pd has amazing degrees of narcissism at times but can at the same time have empathy.

It's mixed bag to be sure.

Borderline seems to run in family for generations as his aunt, uncle and grandmother had such traits to a large extent, yet his mother was a grandiose narc.  Both are cluster b.

In trying to understand things I came across the concept of covert narcissist that really seems to fit.

Another concept that seems to explain some otherwise kind people getting taken in by narcs and doing their dirty work os the idea of an inverted narc.  My understanding is that hese are otherwise empathic caretaker types who are addicted to getting affirmation and supply from narcs.  They will be drawn in and used by them, even to the point of becoming a flying monkey.

I say this to say there are some perhaps unofficial constructs that help from a relationship standpoint in dealing with and learning about abuse and reducing it in your life.

After reading  the notes from my pdh's providers, I clearly see little if any import is put on the symptoms in terms of how they effect those around the patient.  It's about how the patient sees things. 

Fine becaise it's my job to manage West effects me and make boundaries etc.   Which is what I am doing.

[Poison Ivy]

This:  "there are some perhaps unofficial constructs that help from a relationship standpoint in dealing with and learning about abuse and reducing it in your life."

[Call Me Cordelia]

1foot, my mother is an inverted narcissist. My understanding is that they are narcissists in their own right, but they cannot feel at ease unless they are catering to another, "alpha" narcissist. This other narc usually fits the more classic type.

So yeah, just like you can find stuff about how different Myers-Briggs types interact in relationships, you can also go down the rabbit trails of how different PDs interact.

It helps for validation of you are not the crazy person because this (whatever it is) is a real and recognized phenomenon within the psychiatric community. But it seems like dealing with it all is largely the same. Boundaries. Lower contact as necessary.