Not clear on if I am in the fog or not.

[Maisey]

I will have days where I am falling into a blue mood thinking about my decisions regarding my inlaws, and have doubt that my actions are appropriate.

I am absolutely certain my actions are correct , and sometimes when I try to remind myself during these moods of that by going over a few facts, I still can't get out of that ruminating line of thinking that I am wrong, making errors.

Am I drifting into the fog at those times?

M.

[bloomie]

Maisey - trusting ourselves is harder than it seems sometimes. With my own in law family it would be inaccurate to characterize the relationships as all bad and them as people with no redeeming qualities. What the system is, as it stands between family members, is unhealthy and toxic for me to be immersed in.

It is the glimpses of how it could be, and my understandable and human longing for authentic familial connection, that brings times like you describe that unsettle me and which I have come to understand as grief for such waste and loss.

For me, this has been part of the accepting what I cannot change journey that eventually, when I lean into the emotions and grief of the losses represented, that eventually has brought me to acceptance and peace. And yes, occasionally on that journey I needed to remember - not ruminate - that I am at a distance for very important reasons.

I hope you find a settled place in your spirit very soon.

[1footouttadefog]

I can relate to the idea of not being all the way Out of the FOG.  My username validates this, lol.

It's hard because even when you try to be logical your emotions may indicate different things than the facts do.  Additionally if you live with gaslighting or other forms of abuse intended to make logic and decision making difficult you can be at a disadvantage in discovering the facts.

Take your time and discovery the facts and compare them to what you know to be true of the past.

It's harder to denied a trend or pattern than a single event.