dismissed and NM now using others

[scapegoat/caregiver]

Thank you so much for all your input and help.
I have been fighting the decision of NC for years.... 
My NARC M is so cruel,  and she had me fooled for so long... hot and cold...rollercoaster.... I think she was hiding behind my NARCF before,   now that he is passed she doesn't know how to act and she has been revealed for what she really is.  I have been hanging in for years hoping  that when he passes I will have a normal MOM now.
   
BIG eye opener was how cruel  and inhumane she was when NARCF was sick and dying....her cruel behavior went on for years before he passed..... this was sooo upsetting to see.  I wasn't a big fan of my NARCF,  it was upsetting because the treatment was SO insanely inhumane and cold..... it was like she was angry because HE was not taking care of HER anymore....when he passed I was there.... she was eating crackers and checking out the snack tray on the other side of the room.... when he passed and the nurse told her she said "OH was that supposed to be today??? then started talking about her taxes, asked me if I had mine done yet?  my mouth dropped open and I snapped back at her " that's not what i'm thinking about right now!!!"   she later told me that she never cried when my brother died she obviously did not cry when my NARCF died.  I offered to help her thru this by staying overnight that day at her house so she wasn't alone.... she was cold to me and told me to go home. I have so many mixed emotions.

She has not improved since then... VERY materialistic...talks about money all the time.  She made a promise to give Money to the grandchildren... I think she was afraid she wasn't going to be invited to holiday dinner that's why she did this.  But, anyway she reniged on another promise... everything she does offer has strings attached.   Lies constantly... manipulates with these promises and gifts all the time.

I had a big fight about how she make promises and does not keep them.  Told her she can NOT talk about money with me anymore.  She has not reached out to me in months.  I broke down went to visit her with my boyfreind (bodyguard)

She ignored me..offered to give him some gifts...asked him if he can take her to a doctor's appointment... really kissing up to him.    She sent his son $100 out of the blue, doesn't have any contection with him at all.  I think she is just trying to suck someone else in to do things for her. 

Well anyway, I am upset that nothing has been resolved about the fight. spoke to my boyfriend about how i felt about being overlooked and how she is acting.    I do not feel comfortable about him taking gifts from her,  and taking her to the doctor 

...and would like him and his freinds to find another place to hunt and fish instead of HER land.   am i wrong to ask this of him???    This attention to her by hunting on her land  feeds her EGO.  She has completely dismissed me and I have been disinherited on top of it.

[Phoenix Rising]

Hmmm.. I don't think you are wrong for asking, depending on how you approached or asked him to do this. I think if your boyfriend is understanding of your feelings and how fishing somewhere else will strengthen your ability to live a narc-free life, he will. He may not be happy with it but maybe if they find a different spot, they will forget about the land.

Do you feel your boyfriend understands NPD and how PD works? What has he said about this? She is totally going princess charming on him. I do recognize though that he is free to choose what he wants e.g. taking her to doctors but it comes at a cost for you.

Sorry you've had to deal with such a difficult person, it can be so draining

[scapegoat/caregiver]

thank you chopsuey  for your input.
I will give this a try. he is very understanding and has seen all of this going on for 13 years. he is very kind and she knows it.   
i believe she has discarded me for sticking up for myself and my kids. and perhaps looking for more prey
thank you again