PD aunt oversharing about her grandchild

[Sidney37]

So I'm LC with PD aunt after I came Out of the FOG and because she lives far away.  She called this week for the first time in months.  After chatting about general things, she announced to me that her granddaughter, the daughter of my cousin, is "developing".  I tried to change the subject because I saw where this was headed.  She insisted on telling me all about these puberty developments in detail and asked if my DD had these same changes at the same age.  I kept changing the subject.  She kept asking.  I refused to tell her about my own child.  She kept asking.    I was stunned!  I was getting ready to tell her how inappropriate this was when she had to go. 

Do I call my cousin (who might be a PD herself) and tell her that her mother is telling relatives (and probably strangers) about her daughter's puberty changes in detail??  Or do I just let it go.  I have no clue how my cousin might react.

[moglow]

I'd let it go and steer clear of it. Development is a normal part of every person's life, and no one wants or needs family members discussing their personal biological details. Your aunt is clearly a parent herself - she knows how it works. It may be that she's fascinated because she was completely removed from her own daughter's development ... 

[Thru the Rain]

Ewwww!

I recall my own uPDM telling me about how my nieces and nephews were "developing". So inappropriate. No one wants a dirty old man for a grandmother!

My DH was in the room and overheard one (of many) of M's discussions of her grandchildren. He caller her out and told her "that's not appropriate and you need to stop."

And to my eternal shock, she did stop. At least around DH and I.

[all4peace]

I like how Thru the Rain's DH called it out. Personally, as a mother, I would absolutely want to know so I could at least attempt to address it. I come from an N family in which uNBPDm was way too interested in my development. It's a form of sexual abuse and it has long-lasting impacts. I'm so sorry this is going on in your family.

[lilwren]

personally i think i would tell her.  it sounds like pedophilia.  really strange thing to have your aunt talk to you about in a catching up phone conversation.  sounds pretty creepy to me.  i was sexually abused as a child and people wanting to know about puberty in kids is a huge red flag if you ask me ... especially wanting to go on and on in detail.  something not right there at all.   it will certainly mess up you and your aunt's relationship when she finds out you told your cousin, but damn that seems like your aunt has an unhealthy fascination with little kids sexual development.   

my mom groomed me to have sex with my step dad and her boss when i was a teenager.  they were all fascinated with my developmental stages.  i don't know your aunt, but i know that it doesn't sound right.