Honeymoon period

[LTDreamer]

How long after a physical attack will the honeymoon last?

They've been married for 8 years and it was the first attack. How long will it be before an uNPD will show their true colours again?

There are 2 young kids who witnessed it and he's staying for their sake but he can't see the truth yet.

[Jsinjin]

I'm not a counselor.    But any attack in my opinion and from what u have read means you should contact domestic violence help lines and get to safety and only consider reconciliation through guided careful therapy.

Violence or threats of violence are not merely normal parts of arguments that spouses have.   Anger and arguing and even some heat of the moment harsh words are things that couples learn to understand, apologize for, feel remorse for and develop mechanisms to communicate and turn into opportunities to strengthrn their marriage or relationship.

Violence or threats of violence are completely out of bounds, are not normal and should never be tolerated even for the sake of the kids.   

I will keep hope and prayers for them.   I can't counsel you specifically on what to say except that an attack is never acceptable and the counsel of a domestic abuse center or helpline should be taken into the discussion by you or your friend and seriously considered.

Thoughts and prayers.

Jsj

[1footouttadefog]

It's hard to say.  Some men will let themselves become over stressed, self centered etc etc etc until they act out in violence then they get a wake up, own it and make steps toward change. In a case likely to have positive changes there would likely be open two way communication between the partners.

Others will feel some guilt, promise changes and then it's only a matter of time before it happens again.  I think your instincts will inform you which way things are headed. 

If he is telling you who he really is by his actions and what he says when angry etc be sure to believe him.   Don't hope for a truth that is possible, instead deal with the truth that is.

[LTDreamer]

It's the wife that is uNPD and being physically violent.

[1footouttadefog]

Sorry I confused the pronouns.  I thought an abusive.man was staying only for kids.

Abuse is abuse regardless of the gender receiving it or dishing it out.  I was not implying otherwise with my mistake.

Physical abuse often follows a devaluation of the partner in the mind of the abuser.  There is often co tempt toward the devalued partner.  In many cases of not most this cannot be reversed by actions the devalued person makes, unless they are actions of giving into demands that further repeat the cycle. 

Honeymoon periods might last a while but unless there is meaningful change by and exchange with the abuser there is not reason to believe the abuse will not reoccur.