What’s going on?

[Spirit in the sky]

NMIL was away on holidays for a week and surprise surprise she bought us back presents. She was lurking outside my work again and handed them to me, I just rolled my eyes and said thanks. She was expecting an argument and I can't be bothered.

I have written before about my hubby ending nc, because she live in a small town and she lurks so I pass myself. I have mentioned to him about trying vvvvlc on his terms but he's just sticking his head in the sand and hoping she'll go away.

When I gave him his present he actually seemed pleased with a stupid souvenir and thought I would be delighted with mine, truthfully I would have binned them. Again I suggested he could use this opportunity to try vvvvlc and make it clear we will not be going to NMIL for Christmas. We think she's trying to smooth things over for a 'happy family Christmas' which isn't going to happen.

As much as I dislike the women I think she needs to be reminded why she is in this situation and given the opportunity to repair some damage. Things can never go back to the way they were before but I would like to move forward, and I'm fed up with hubby hiding.

[all4peace]

This is tough. I also have an uNBPDmil who liked to manipulate situations to force contact with out, OUTSIDE of the stated boundaries we had. Kind of forced us to either respond directly and negatively, or allow her to force a situation we weren't comfortable with.

I don't know if you just want to be heard, or to get advice. In this case, all I can say is I hear you, it sounds horribly uncomfortable and awkward, and dangit she seems to have good radar for choosing to force you to deal with it instead of your DH.

[Spirit in the sky]

Thanks all4peace,

I'm feeling very stressed about other family issues and now I just want my hubby to do something proactive. I feel like the focus is back on me again because I'm the only one she has access to. I keep telling my hubby she is NEVER going to give up, so wouldn't it be better if he land down new boundaries and we found a way to just pass overselves. Wouldn't vvvvvlc be better than nothing?