uNPD mom called 5x last night and I still have a visit hangover

[marizabet]

H is away for 10 days and I am alone with a 5 year old and a baby and she thinks that I have time to talk to her on the phone every day.

The other day she wanted me to video chat even after I told her my battery was low because she wanted to see their faces. She does that a lot and doesn't think it might not be convenient for me to do whIle I'm juggling the kids.

If she wants to reach me right now, she can text.

She stayed with us last week and I don't really want her staying with us anymore. She pushes boundaries way too much and isn't really apologetic about it. I can't keep doing this to my FOC.

[Spring Butterfly]

Sounds like you're setting really good boundaries. She can wish and want all she likes. Too bad. You have every right to a low phone battery or quiet time without apologies or explanation. Settle in to taking care of you and the kiddos while hubby is away and either set her ringtone to silent / send her direct to VM / shut off phone as much as you please.

[SunnyMeadow]

It's good that you're learning this while your children are young. I didn't learn that lesson and juggled a demanding, angry, waify uNPDmom along with my family. That meant my children had to put on a show when my mom came over. If she didn't get the rolling out the red carpet - grandma is here treatment she'd cry, pout and then email me how my children and I don't pay her the proper respect.

So your mom had plenty of time to see her grandchildren while there in person and now feels she needs more attention? She needs to see their faces and talk to you on the phone everyday? Sounds typical, keep firm on your boundaries and don't be afraid to tell her you're busy or just want to relax. If you don't limit her, it's going to get worse and worse. I tell you this from experience. I wish I had be more firm and limited my interaction with my mom. My children missed out on my time because of my mom. 

[marizabet]

It sucks because my mom will act like it is torturing her to not have all this interaction.

I didn't even post about all the things that upset me last week. I literally felt sick and was up until 6am because my mind was racing. I made excuses to cancel the family outing because I couldn't stomach the idea of her trying to take photoshoots on the kids for her Facebook.

For almost an hour I didn't know where the almost 5 year old was because my mom took her on a walk without bringing the phone and she knew we had dinner plans. I had to drive around town looking for them and was 40 minutes late to our plans with friends. That's not even one of the worse stories from the visit.

The sheer sense of entitlement, of feeling like she doesn't have to always listen to what I want as the parent, telling me what I have to do or telling the kids things that contradict how we do things.

After we had friends over I vacuumed and she still told LO to not go downstairs because her feet would get dirty. A few days earlier she was calling LO yucky and that her feet were dirty and i said this will affect her self esteem and she said no she can take it. I wanted to scream at her.

She coerced her into a bath even though I said no then when I confronted her she said it's not a bath, I guess bc the water was draining and LO was standing. She criticized LOs room as messy and LO said well I was playing.

It is so rude and for many other reasons I would rather she not stay with is anymore when she visits but it will be a hard convo to have. Right now I'm just avoiding it.