Trying to micromanage ds22

[11JB68]

Ds is turning22 this week and just started his final year of college.
He's a great kid, well behaved, smart, hard worker, quirky, never given us any trouble.
He is quirky, an introvert, etc.
EVERY year when we take him back to school, uOCPDh has the same complaint, ds needs to get better at socialising. He pushes and prods a bit, but mostly lectures me about it in the car, and typically, tries to get me to agree with him. The kid is almost22. People like him. He gets along with people. He's President of a club at school. He is a bit of a loner.
I think he's ok. Also he's almost22. None of our business whether he's making friends or not! UOCPDh also wants to make it about how he dresses, that somehow he's putting people off. I see the other students at his school, many of them are quirky. There's no rule that you have to dress like a preppy to be accepted. UOCPDH has also made a big deal about ds cutting his hair...always tries to recruit me to his way of thinking (things like 'would you boss hire a guy with long hair?....well actually yes, we had a young intern this summer with long hair, have had managers with lots of tattoos, had a young receptionist with a nose ring etc)
He started in on this with me in the car today, it was hard to maintain mc...I was so close to just saying let me put of the car, I felt cornered. He dies this weird leading thing in which he tries to get me to agree with him. Ugh.

[Cascade]

It sounds like your husband is trying to make your son fit the mold he has in his head, of what his son should be. I am sure your son is fine too. Not everyone needs a dozen friends. My husband was concerned about our son getting a job with his long hair too but it hasn't been a problem.

[Whiteheron]

He started in on this with me in the car today, it was hard to maintain mc...I was so close to just saying let me put of the car, I felt cornered. He dies this weird leading thing in which he tries to get me to agree with him. Ugh.

I hated riding in a car with stbx. I was a captive audience - his favorite. He would start in on all kinds of things. *shudder*

Your son will be fine, no matter how he chooses to dress or wear his hair.

[11JB68]

Thx cascade and wh.
I've realized/learned that a lot of what uPDh does is projection.
And his uOCPD causes him to believe that his way is the only right way....fit everything, with everyone.
Yes in the car I feel like a captive audience.