How to move forward

[Roza]

I want to move forward, but my narc sis is stuck in the past. Mom died last year and I was the executor of the estate bcz I was the best qualified.  I have a conscience and I don't play poker well. I have been the SG all my life. I believe in hope. Silly, I know,  but I thought maybe if I did everything NPD mom wanted maybe she might love me or just maybe like me. Nope, I was just the one that hoped for something, but it wasn't meant to be.
I closed out my mom's estate and I kept family members in the loop at all times.  Mom did what she wanted and it was her money to do whatever she wanted.  I was the beneficiary on many accounts that I could have kept to myself,  but I shared it all and I paid the taxes too. Not even a kiss my ass do I get from the siblings. When they need $ they knew me, now they tell me that I have issues.
I took care of NPD mom until she died, all dr. Appointments,  ordering meds, taking care of her house and just all her continued abuse. Siblings always had their lives so they were busy.  I too have  a life but I still did it. I not once, after I got married, did I come to NPD mom for $, but my siblings did everytime. I guess bcz the mom bank is closed , they don't care.
How do I get me back? I want to get my life back. I started going to therapy,  bcz I don't want to burden my DH or kids with my mess. I just want to get this done and over with. I want to heal myself, and if I don't have to see my siblings again I will be fine. It will hurt, bcz I was the SG for everything and I protected them but oh well. Thank you so much.

[Penny Lane]

I don't have a big huge answer to your question, but I have a suggestion for a place to start: Sign up for an activity, a club, a class - something that's just for you. Maybe something you've always wanted to do but never had time. Something where there's no real point other than to feel good and have fun. Maybe this would get you in the habit of making decisions for yourself, not your FOO.

[Roza]

I have been thinking of doing something,  anything just for me, myself and I.  Thank you for your kind words....I am learning so much from this forum.

[bunnie]

My NPD sister has told my parents that she's not going to deal with me and our brothers when they die.  She has stated she will handle everything.  It's said when npds can't even pull it together for serious family matters, but rather use the events to act out.  Fortunately, both parents know sis is off and she'll be the last one they'll have handling their affairs.
I suspect you're still grieving to an extent.  I would just continue to process your thoughts and emotions and move forward each day (whatever that means for each day).  I know it's not easy.  Condolences