decision tool

[Doggo]

"Nice" and all its attendant expectations of appearances kind of fall away when we are trying to save ourselves from abuse.

And nice should not always come at the expense of your own needs and wants--I think women at least, spend too much time being nice

[Arkhangelsk]

I completely agree.

I have thought about the difference between nice and kind.  I have decided that I will not be unkind to myself in order to be nice to someone else.