PD trust issue with MD or general elderly issue

[Pepin]

Is it true that aging PDs stay with their MDs long term or is this a general notion just for today's elderly? 

I am confused because for myself, if I cannot get results with a MD then I will seek someone else to help me.  I don't have time to deal with health issues that drag on because the MD is incompetent. 

DH and I were talking the other day and I point blank asked why PDmil won't change MDs if her MD is so horrible?  (I am sick of hearing about her ailments that are not getting taken seriously or treated properly!)  And DH replied by saying that both she and the mother (also PD) of his close friend are of the "trusting generation" and that is just something they do.  Really?     BTW....DH doesn't categorize PDmil as PD...but he does recognize this in his friend's mother.  *sigh*

[Andeza]

Hmm, I think I would put this under general aging more than pd. Just an opinion, but it seems that prior generations were more apt to believe that doctors are always right, and a second opinion is something you get when the cat breaks down, not when you're sick.

The pd in my life, who is aging without any grace, is more non compliant. The doctor suggests changes in routine, oh but she's done that in the past and it didn't work. Or worse, it did work, but the life change was taking over her and she no longer enjoyed life as much...those are her favorite excuses. More often than not at the doctor office she'll nod, agree to try things, and then never does. You ask why not? Oh because she's tried it before... Even if it's a brand new diet that's only been around a couple of months and she hasn't been on a diet in over thirty years.

[Pepin]

PDmil is also not compliant.  She will start out doing what was asked and then give up.  She is unable to speak up with regards to any negative side effects of her medication.  Prefers to suffer and let us all know about it rather than taking it up with the MD. 

[foobarred]

Could be - older generations had far more trust in authority figures.  Or it could be the fear of change as you get older, or the cynical conviction that all the other doctors will be idiots, too.

Or it could be that she just likes to complain, and would rather beat you over the head with her problem than make the effort to fix it.  UDPDmom gets a lot of emotional mileage out of her problems, and actively resists any efforts to fix them ->  frustration and helplessness on my part, sucking up my time and energy, reinforcing that nothing I do will be good enough ever, and confirming her world view that life is just too hard for poor little old her and thus the whole world needs to drop what it's doing and help her.

[SunnyMeadow]

Or it could be that she just likes to complain, and would rather beat you over the head with her problem than make the effort to fix it.  UDPDmom gets a lot of emotional mileage out of her problems, and actively resists any efforts to fix them ->  frustration and helplessness on my part, sucking up my time and energy, reinforcing that nothing I do will be good enough ever, and confirming her world view that life is just too hard for poor little old her and thus the whole world needs to drop what it's doing and help her.

This is what my uNPDmom used to do, hours long conversations about her medical issues and fear of doctors. Well, she may still be doing it just not with me! My mom loved for me to invest my time in looking up reviews on new doctors, looking up credentials and more. I'd do the research and she'd say "oh no, I've found someone else". So I stopped doing that.

For some reason, my NPDmom loves to switch doctors constantly. She does the same with hairstylists and pharmacies. Maybe she likes retelling her sad, sad stories to new people?  Seems like a lot of work to keep switching providers constantly but not for her. 

[Pepin]

This is what my uNPDmom used to do, hours long conversations about her medical issues and fear of doctors. Well, she may still be doing it just not with me! My mom loved for me to invest my time in looking up reviews on new doctors, looking up credentials and more. I'd do the research and she'd say "oh no, I've found someone else". So I stopped doing that.

  I feel like PDmil is doing this to add to DH's already full plate.  Her waif and whiny behavior makes him feel guilty so he gets to work trying to find a solution.  And after all that, she says no.