Hello—guidance to the correct forum needed

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Patience

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Hello—guidance to the correct forum needed
« on: September 10, 2019, 03:46:20 PM »
Hello.

I am looking for a particular forum and not finding it. I’m the mother of a generally healthy, but highly sensitive and empathic adult daughter who is ensnared in the web of a BPD/NPD boyfriend.  My daughter’s father (my ex) is a classic overt NPD, so I’m sure there were some parenting patterns  that set her up to be vulnerable.  I make no claims to having been a perfect mother, but I am a generally healthy person who has worked very hard in therapy to get and remain that way. My relationship with my daughter is warm and genuine.

I see forums here for parents of disordered children, but I’m not seeing this specific relationship addressed. Mother/daughter relationships can be fraught even under the best circumstances, so I’m treading lightly to preserve our love for each other. But it is SO HARD to stand by and watch her be eaten alive. 

Thank you for any help you can provide.

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Penny Lane

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Re: Hello—guidance to the correct forum needed
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2019, 04:36:40 PM »
HI and welcome!

I suggest either the PD in laws forum (most of the people posting are talking about parents in law, but it's open to anyone) or the other family members forum.

Even though most other people on these boards aren't in your exact situations, I think you'll get really good advice. There's a lot of similarities in traits and patterns no matter what the relationship.

Glad you're here, looking forward to hearing more of your story!

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treesgrowslowly

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Re: Hello—guidance to the correct forum needed
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2019, 10:54:21 PM »
Hi there,

Welcome to the forum. We are here to support you. I can only imagine how it feels to watch your child go through this. How are you coping? Is this a long term relationship?

Something that comes to mind is the trauma bonding, which is often seen in the relationships with PDs. There are some good resources online on this, and also on how parents can help their child when they are in a group or relationship that is exerting control or undue influence.

Hope this forum proves helpful. Again, welcome.