Intro post (partner of OCPDer)

[CoconutManna]

Hi!  I'm middle aged, ton of kids, work from home, have a couple of hobbies, and I'm the DBT and Boundaries Evangelist.  If I could, I would go door to door, preaching the gospel of DBT and asking people if they'd heard the Good News about healthy interpersonal boundaries.

I love message boards.  I've been using them for over a quarter century (actually, since before there was a world wide web, even, and you dialed in directly to a BBS).  These are my favorite smilies:  though I'm sad you don't have blank stare banana and the "it is a mystery"/"mystery solved" ghosts!

My partner has OCPD.  He doesn't seem to understand that it's not just 4 letters on his file, he actually has it, and his thoughts and beliefs have it, too.  And I'm exhausted.  We have a whole bunch of kids, his and mine, but no "ours", thankfully.  I say thankfully, because it would make drawing boundaries harder, and separating harder still. I see the effects of his OCPD on all the kids.  I want there to be hope for us as a family, but I can't address his OCPD for him; he has to do it himself.

[Penny Lane]

Hi CoconutMama and welcome! Or should I say 

I don't know if you're looking to get out or looking for strategies on staying together, but there are forums for each of those. The toolbox and resources at the top of the page also have strategies for setting and maintaining boundaries (aren't boundaries great??)

I hear you on the exhaustion - interacting with PD behaviors can be just so draining. When you're ready, I hope you'll share more of your story and what you're dealing with specifically that brought you here.

Again, welcome!

[11JB68]

Welcome. My h is uOCPD.
I'm 99% sure, and my ds22 agrees having read about it (Yup. That's him. Was his comment).
It is exhausting. I look forward to sharing thoughts with you.