PD blunted affect

[Leonor]

Hello all,

I've come across a few posts here that mention a BPD in this flat, emotionless state. I've encountered this with my HPD mom, who like "zoned out" during a therapy session with me and our therapists. It was right as I had come to a place where I was able to feel and express a real compassion towards her, and told her I was truly sorry for what had happened to her and I was able to understand how hard it was to protect me, too. She just kind of fell silent, stonefaced, and walked out of the room. That was 10 years ago, and I haven't heard from her since.

This also happened with my mil, who is BPD. She got upset for we don't know what, and locked herself in her apartment and wouldn't come out. When h talked to her (and fill and of course the family priest) she did the same thing.

H was worried that she had suffered some kind of mental break but some dear posters here mention it as an expression of rage. I think that's possible and interesting. If you have encountered this with someone BPD in your life, I'd like to read about your experiences and thoughts.

Wellness and healing to you all!

[Andeza]

Oh I've seen it, a lot. When I was growing up, UbpdM would lecture for hours. Until I got old enough to essentially sass back at her. Since I surpassed her emotionally maturity in my early teens, this audacity of mine engaged her. It would trigger silent treatment for hours, which I learned to be grateful for, and she would just raise her eyebrows in this weird bug-eyed glare like I wasn't worth the air I was breathing and walk away. Eventually she would return to normal and act like nothing happened. Which worked for me, no punishment for stating something that was likely obvious and true.

[Leonor]

Thanks Andeza! Sometimes it presents as anger, like the flared nostril kind of look, but other times it's just this nothing look, like the person has checked out. It's like dissociation (which I'm familiar with because I live with ptsd), except it's ... this emptiness.  I know BPD people dissociate too, but it's still different. Does that sound familiar?

[Andeza]

Yes, because she has said as much that she couldn't read something or couldn't think about it because she couldn't "deal with it" the problem is she never can deal with anything hard or related to change. So she simply shuts down, goes on autopilot, and ignores whatever it is.

[HeadAboveWater]

I've wondered about this too. I have a parent who is undiagnosed. I've wondered if this person could be BPD or if the behaviors I have observed are just fleas. Regardless, a lack of affect is this person's defining trait. Facial expressions are either gleeful or completely flat, indicating nothing. When I was a child it was terrifying to me -- and also to friends who would visit the house. I wished for outright expressions of anger because those were easier to read than a completely blank face.