Son/Wife teaching toddler

[chowder]

So last night we get a video from our granddaughter, where she's singing off-color songs.  She's 3 years old.  Her father proudly says he's teaching her these things, and he thinks it's funny.  The wife is just sitting idly by in the background in the video.  Our granddaughter repeats him, singing "Shuduppa-you-face" and everyone laughs.  He is also trying to teach her something called "Norfolk U."  Then when he tells her on the video to thank us for the birthday present, she tells us to shuduppa-you-face - then he says Oh, that's not nice to talk to your grandparents that way.

Well, what did he expect?  I'm thinking this girl is going to say this in her pre-school pretty soon.  And I know it's their issue to deal with.

But we are going to be seeing them soon....looking for a nice (and effective) way to re-direct her as far as talking to us, if this comes up, that won't ruffle the feathers of son/daughter-in-law. 

Still scratching my head....thanks in advance!

[Starboard Song]

I guess you realize this problem: we live in a world where you can buy bibs for infants that say "spit happens," a onesie that says "badass baby," and even -yes - "I Came from Nuttin'." And parents routinely buy their kids t-shirts that say things like "

Sadly, a larger portion of our population now sees no aesthetic problem with cursing. So while I agree with you, it may be that both parents are fine with this. I'd consider speaking to your daughter privately, explaining with just one example, and asking her opinion of the matter. I'd agree is ok with it, a simple expression of "well, she is a sweet and wonderful little girl, but I hope you'll reconsider and try to limit these sorts of jokes and content until she is older and better understands."

If she doesn't agree with her husband, you can suggest she speak to him kindly and seek his support.

Sadly,  I suspect there isn't much more you can do except be a wonderful example. You should think about your own boundaries:  you do not have to pretend and admire and laugh at things that offend you.

[chowder]

Thank you, Starboard.  It's amazing what passes for acceptable behavior these days.

Boundaries, I like boundaries.  That's what I plan on doing, and not "buy into" anything because others happen to be entertained by it at the moment.   They've already sent another video today with a comment that the 3-year-old now "asks Alexa" to say these phrases.  I didn't watch the video, and didn't even respond.  Don't want to stoke the fire.

Thanks for your advice!

[momnthefog]

I have a gc who is also learning in appropriate things to say....I remind myself that I'm responsible for how I raised my kids and what she learns is on her BPD mother not me.

Sadly, it's just the tip of the iceberg in maladaptive behavior I expect to emerge.

momnthefog