Waiting and waiting and waiting For The Stipulation Agreement

[Kat54]

I woke in the night from having a nightmare about my stbXNPDh. I've been having little panic attacks thinking about the next step if the stipulation agreement doesn't get signed.  He's doing this to punish me, I know it. We agreed on the settlement of the house, but it must include dividing of the contents which my lawyer sent a list to my ex's lawyer plus a few changes regarding my retirement, the numbers were not accurate., and lawyer did request lawyer fee's that he reluctantly agreed to.

Its been a month, and still have not gotten back the revised agreement. We are scheduled for court on October 7th if the agreement is not signed and then after that date is a trial...if we don't get this settled. I guess I'm inpatient maybe, its only been 2 years!  Why is he sitting on this?  In one breathe he says he just wants to get this done, and then here we are a month later and have not heard a word from him or his lawyer, and with every step this is what he does, months and months go by. This is why I had to have a judge oversee the case...its crazy and ridiculous.

I don't have $15,000 to go to a trial, don't even know what I will do if that happens, fold my hand and crawl away with nothing?  I'm starting to get into a panic, plus I have to go to my house tonight and pack up some things he put into bags. He decided to pack up some of the things that he doesn't want, a few crappy platters we never use and bowls my brother gave as a shower gift. He put the Waterford crystal into a Trader Joe's shopping bag.  That's the part that I think has him on tilt. Dismantling "his" house. My house also and so are the contents, but obviously he doesn't see it that way because he's getting petty.  I asked for the TV that is on our third floor, a TV that is hardly used. I went up there a few days ago, and the TV is now gone.  Its a TV and if he wants to play that way...keep the stupid TV.

[Poison Ivy]

A good friend got a divorce about 18 months ago.  She and her ex didn't proceed to selling the house and physically removing items until earlier this year.  She provided a list of things she wanted from the house.  He took almost all those things, after seeing her list.

[Spygirl]

Im so sorry

You are correct that you are being punished.

Imo,

Let him believe he is hurting you by keeping things and being a jerk. Let him win that.  My pdexh did this also. Keep your eye on the big things. You house settlement, 401k stuff, alimony. Push for those. See if the judge can make him accountable for trial fees(or a large portion of them) because he is  intentionally stalling. Maybe the judge can set a timeline for item completion. Perhaps the court fees can be added to the house settlement, ect. Become very direct. Advise of dates things had to be completed in the process or you will do blank.......


I had to do these things because mine was procrastinating. I lately had to mention i would be contacting his work HR about the 401k settlement because it was taking too long and i needed a status. Suprise suprise! He got off his butt and addressed everything immediately so i would not speak to his job.

The time to be complacent is long over. The PD is going to look out only for #1.  I worried less about what anyone thought, and focused on getting it done and over so my life could move forward.

You can do it. Put on the warrior pants.

[Kat54]

Thank you, and yes I'm putting on the warrior pants! If we end up having to go back to court because we don't get back the agreement I'm going to ask the judge to up the amount of him paying me lawyer fees.

Went to my house to pick up these items, its just stuff and actually got a huge laugh. I asked for some kitchen cooking utensils, he gives me three wooden spoons, and a few worn out bath towels, plastic platters from Christmas cookie parties. I wanted to burst out laughing but the kids were there and my daughter was very unhappy about the whole thing.

[Spygirl]

Its going to be ok. You can hit up the $.99 cent store and marshalls and get new stuff on the cheap. Its actually pretty cathartic ro do that.

Its YOUR life now. You can grow new memories with some fresh stuff. I moved out with practically nothing, at tv dinners for 3 months cause i thought i was going back.

Fresh life, fresh comforts for you and your kids