She passed away yesterday morning

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Mrsdubs

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Re: She passed away yesterday morning
« Reply #20 on: November 11, 2019, 09:19:22 AM »
-My mom passed away less than 3 months ago. It was rough taking care of her after my dad died. She just kept saying she wanted to live with me but was just mean to me and angry that my dad left her, she was 90 and dementia was settling in. She refused to do any financial planning years earlier since it was ďherĒ money and we canít touch it. So when she couldnít take care of herself alone, we sold her house on the fly and she had to go in to a home with 24 hour care. I felt guilty for a while not letting her live with me, but the alternative might have given me a breakdown.
So.. when she died I refused to have a real funeral. It was 15 of us graveside. I did not sit Shiva in my religion. I felt the same as some of you. I was tired of putting on the I Care act. I was relieved. She was pretty awful to me most of my life, I feel free.
And yet, I am an orphan at 51, itís weird.
But..I am now focusing again on a career, and spending quality non guilt time with my family instead of my mom.
This group is so understanding, and itís nice not to be judged. My friends really try to understand but donít. So thanks to you all.

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SunnyMeadow

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Re: She passed away yesterday morning
« Reply #21 on: November 11, 2019, 12:54:55 PM »
-My mom passed away less than 3 months ago. It was rough taking care of her after my dad died. She just kept saying she wanted to live with me but was just mean to me and angry that my dad left her, she was 90 and dementia was settling in. She refused to do any financial planning years earlier since it was ďherĒ money and we canít touch it. So when she couldnít take care of herself alone, we sold her house on the fly and she had to go in to a home with 24 hour care. I felt guilty for a while not letting her live with me, but the alternative might have given me a breakdown.

Thank goodness you didn't give in to your guilt! That would have been disastrous! I can't handle a 2 hour visit with my uNPDmom never mind having her live with me and with medical issues? No way.

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So.. when she died I refused to have a real funeral. It was 15 of us graveside. I did not sit Shiva in my religion. I felt the same as some of you. I was tired of putting on the I Care act. I was relieved. She was pretty awful to me most of my life, I feel free.
And yet, I am an orphan at 51, itís weird.

I feel the same, I won't be having a funeral for my mom. No one would come. She hasn't been nice to anyone so why bother.

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But..I am now focusing again on a career, and spending quality non guilt time with my family instead of my mom.
This group is so understanding, and itís nice not to be judged. My friends really try to understand but donít. So thanks to you all.

It is nice not to be judged. Welcome to the forums!  :heythere: