Scheduling a consult with a lawyer

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11JB68

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Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« on: September 21, 2019, 12:39:20 AM »
My first lawyer consult was in March 2018. A year and a half ago. I didn't realize it had been that long. I pulled out my notes today and thankfully I had written the date. I was that close back then to leaving. I had another one in September 2018. So it's been a year. I've been too scared to go through with it. I've been using mc and not jadeing with some success...but this week's fight really sucked the life out of me. So I had a lawyers contact info from a colleague and emailed her today, I have to call their office on Monday to make an appointment. I'm still50/50 but I need to see if I can get some info that will help me make a decision or help me if I find myself with no other choice.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2019, 12:59:44 AM »
Good for you!  I hope you follow through and do schedule an appointment.

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Whatthehey

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2019, 01:24:43 AM »
11JB68,

Wow, that is a big step.  Congratulations on informing yourself and following up.  In my state, all the statutes are online and pretty clear cut.  I hope where you are there is the same.  Read them as well.  At a minimum, they make good before bed reading.

Whether you do or not, I am sending positive energy your way!

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capybara

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2019, 09:54:00 AM »
Good for you for emailing! I scheduled an appointment for this week. Nearly cancelled last week but not i am determined to go....

Hoping my lawyer will have concrete advice on how to leave.

Wishing you strength and peace.

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11JB68

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2019, 01:19:00 AM »
Well I did it. Scheduled for next Tuesday. But then got a call back that it has to be rescheduled...so probably next thurs

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2019, 01:22:46 AM »
Good for you for scheduling the appointment! We're here to support you.

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Whatthehey

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2019, 02:44:05 AM »
You are taking some bold moves!  Be proud of yourself and make sure to take care of yourself through out the process.

I am supporting you from afar!!!

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11JB68

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2019, 11:41:10 PM »
Now it's a week from Thursday, i.e. a week from tomorrow.

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Whatthehey

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #8 on: October 03, 2019, 12:30:23 AM »
Ugh,  :doh: the waiting! 

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sevenyears

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2019, 03:29:48 PM »
11JB68 - good for you. that is a huge and brave step. As you know from your past consults, talking to a lawyer doesn't commit you to anything. It does give you more information/tools to help you decide what to do. Your lawyer can also advise you what resources are available to help you prepare in advance for the inevitable fallout if you do decide to leave. Having that information might also give you some extra reassurances, which might make your decision easier. Regardless of what you decide, good luck! We are here for you.  :)

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11JB68

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2019, 12:47:37 AM »
This is postponed again. My fault but probably a good thing. I totally flaked, whichis unlike me, I always keep everything together. Very stressed at work. Somehow mixed up the day of the appointment. Rescheduled now for 10/30. Waiting till the dust settles at work.

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11JB68

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #11 on: October 29, 2019, 11:47:53 PM »
Appt was today, not the30th. I made it!
Of the3lawyers I've met this one seemed like the best fit.
She also said that she could possibly make a case for me to not have to pay support, due to uOCPDh should be able to make more but chooses not to.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #12 on: October 30, 2019, 12:34:55 AM »
Thanks for the update.  I'm glad the lawyer seems willing to argue for you not paying support. 

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Whatthehey

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #13 on: October 30, 2019, 01:26:36 AM »
Good news!  It is hard to find fit - like finding a good therapist. 

I am glad that there is way for you not to pay support.  Sounds like you are on the right track!  Good luck!

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GettingOOTF

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #14 on: October 30, 2019, 09:24:11 AM »
I first spoke to an attorney a year before I went back and started the divorce. It takes the time it takes.

Sounds like you have a good attorney. Mine was awful and dragged on the process unnecessarily.

Leaving and pushing through the divorce was so difficult for me, but I have zero regrets. Zero. I know we all walk our own paths, but I cannot express how different and better my life it now that Iím no longer married to a man with BPD.

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11JB68

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #15 on: October 30, 2019, 02:37:35 PM »
You know, she asked me what was stopping me from leaving, and I mostly talked about the financial issues, but thought a lot about it after and realized that a huge part of it is FOG.
I really don't want to hurt him.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #16 on: October 30, 2019, 03:15:50 PM »
It's a good sign to me that the lawyer asked you that question.

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Whiteheron

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #17 on: October 30, 2019, 09:35:28 PM »
I first spoke to an attorney a year before I went back and started the divorce. It takes the time it takes.
Same.

I'm so glad you found one you like. I hope she answered al of your questions and helped to put your mind at ease.
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

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11JB68

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #18 on: October 30, 2019, 11:25:27 PM »
Ivy, I'm curious why that question is a good sign (I don't disagree, just wondering)

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Scheduling a consult with a lawyer
« Reply #19 on: October 30, 2019, 11:46:28 PM »
To me, the question indicates that the lawyer wants to understand you and the relationship dynamics and that she will give you legal advice based on your individual situation.  (Some lawyers don't.)