Scheduling a consult with a lawyer

Started by 11JB68, September 20, 2019, 09:39:20 PM

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11JB68

My first lawyer consult was in March 2018. A year and a half ago. I didn't realize it had been that long. I pulled out my notes today and thankfully I had written the date. I was that close back then to leaving. I had another one in September 2018. So it's been a year. I've been too scared to go through with it. I've been using mc and not jadeing with some success...but this week's fight really sucked the life out of me. So I had a lawyers contact info from a colleague and emailed her today, I have to call their office on Monday to make an appointment. I'm still50/50 but I need to see if I can get some info that will help me make a decision or help me if I find myself with no other choice.

Poison Ivy

Good for you!  I hope you follow through and do schedule an appointment.

Whatthehey

11JB68,

Wow, that is a big step.  Congratulations on informing yourself and following up.  In my state, all the statutes are online and pretty clear cut.  I hope where you are there is the same.  Read them as well.  At a minimum, they make good before bed reading.

Whether you do or not, I am sending positive energy your way!

capybara

Good for you for emailing! I scheduled an appointment for this week. Nearly cancelled last week but not i am determined to go....

Hoping my lawyer will have concrete advice on how to leave.

Wishing you strength and peace.

11JB68

Well I did it. Scheduled for next Tuesday. But then got a call back that it has to be rescheduled...so probably next thurs

Poison Ivy

Good for you for scheduling the appointment! We're here to support you.

Whatthehey

You are taking some bold moves!  Be proud of yourself and make sure to take care of yourself through out the process.

I am supporting you from afar!!!

11JB68

Now it's a week from Thursday, i.e. a week from tomorrow.

Whatthehey


sevenyears

11JB68 - good for you. that is a huge and brave step. As you know from your past consults, talking to a lawyer doesn't commit you to anything. It does give you more information/tools to help you decide what to do. Your lawyer can also advise you what resources are available to help you prepare in advance for the inevitable fallout if you do decide to leave. Having that information might also give you some extra reassurances, which might make your decision easier. Regardless of what you decide, good luck! We are here for you.  :)

11JB68

This is postponed again. My fault but probably a good thing. I totally flaked, whichis unlike me, I always keep everything together. Very stressed at work. Somehow mixed up the day of the appointment. Rescheduled now for 10/30. Waiting till the dust settles at work.

11JB68

Appt was today, not the30th. I made it!
Of the3lawyers I've met this one seemed like the best fit.
She also said that she could possibly make a case for me to not have to pay support, due to uOCPDh should be able to make more but chooses not to.

Poison Ivy

Thanks for the update.  I'm glad the lawyer seems willing to argue for you not paying support. 

Whatthehey

Good news!  It is hard to find fit - like finding a good therapist. 

I am glad that there is way for you not to pay support.  Sounds like you are on the right track!  Good luck!

GettingOOTF

I first spoke to an attorney a year before I went back and started the divorce. It takes the time it takes.

Sounds like you have a good attorney. Mine was awful and dragged on the process unnecessarily.

Leaving and pushing through the divorce was so difficult for me, but I have zero regrets. Zero. I know we all walk our own paths, but I cannot express how different and better my life it now that I'm no longer married to a man with BPD.

11JB68

You know, she asked me what was stopping me from leaving, and I mostly talked about the financial issues, but thought a lot about it after and realized that a huge part of it is FOG.
I really don't want to hurt him.

Poison Ivy

It's a good sign to me that the lawyer asked you that question.

Whiteheron

Quote from: GettingOOTF on October 30, 2019, 06:24:11 AM
I first spoke to an attorney a year before I went back and started the divorce. It takes the time it takes.
Same.

I'm so glad you found one you like. I hope she answered al of your questions and helped to put your mind at ease.
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

11JB68

Ivy, I'm curious why that question is a good sign (I don't disagree, just wondering)

Poison Ivy

To me, the question indicates that the lawyer wants to understand you and the relationship dynamics and that she will give you legal advice based on your individual situation.  (Some lawyers don't.)