Really feeling done

Started by 11JB68, September 25, 2019, 09:57:24 PM

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11JB68

Has anyone else had times where you just are exhausted and feeling done with it all?
Last week I dealt with uOCPDh having a melt down, and the next day upd coworker had one.
H is back to acting like everything's normal, I'm back to mc on the outside but angry inside and ready to revisit a consult with a lawyer.
Co worker is not done, partly because our boss has finally tired of her behavior and told her if she's not happy to leave, so now she's going to continue...I asked her a question today and instead of answering my question she picked up another part of the issue and said 'well who did that?? We should NEVER do that!'... Not inclined to ask her any more questions.
I'm just exhausted. So tired of trying to be nice, helpful, understanding, forgiving etc and then getting this kind of behaviour in return.
Feeling like I want to escape to a private island...

notrightinthehead

or to this forum, our own little private island surrounded by friends...
I can't hate my way into loving myself.

biggerfish

Hi 11JB68. So sorry you're dealing with this. I don't have any specific suggestions, and I'm guessing you've tried just about everything. But I was wondering if there's one thing you haven't tried yet?  That is, have you tried not being nice?

I know it sounds simplistic, but sometimes all we can do is change strategies, even if for no other reason than to change it up and maybe give us some hope back. And clearly, being nice hasn't been working. Just a thought.

I'm cheering you on. You deserve better.


SparkStillLit

11jb I've definitely bitten coworkers before, where I won't bite at home. If they start drama and nonsense, I zip the topic right back to whatever "this was the information I requested, do you or do you not have it?" And then I leave! Then they gossip and say I'm a female dog, but whatEVER, I don't have time for that kind of BS at work, there's enough at home!
Am I brave enough to do that at home???? Obviously NOT.
I do get super fed up, but I've never seen a lawyer.  H used to use that as a chaos thing, but I finally started telling him to do it, so he quit. Clearly just chaos. It's like moving house. I think that's chaos, too. I've started to agree to that (my friend calls these "harebrained schemes", I  nearly died), and I've heard a LOT less about it. Anyway, I digress. I understand about getting SUPER SICK of the whole mess and just wanting to be ALONE! I go in waves with it.

11JB68

Well, the coworker gave her notice today!  :applause:

theonetoblame

#5
Quote from: 11JB68 on September 26, 2019, 11:40:37 AM
Well, the coworker gave her notice today!  :applause:

Thanks for this! You made an old male dog chuckle  ;D

For me, it's not just the PD folks in the workplace but also those with poorly managed mental health. Recently had an interaction with someone in a relative position of power who was sooo bloody anxious that it was impossible to accurately interpret what she was trying to get across. I gave her some very intentionally neutral feedback in writing, days ago, and I'm sure it's just too much to process so now there's no communication. Argh... it's so bloody exhausting, especially when unwell people hold power relative to me.

I think time off/away can not be overrated -- sometimes it's just a break from the same circular interactions with coworkers and family that is needed.

11JB68

I am worried now that she will try to make this out to be my fault and smear me to remaining co-workers.
Also, I feel like I need to say something to her, can't bring myself to lie and say I'm Sorry to see her go...but I honestly am sorry it came to this, I had hoped and at first thought that we could work well together.

Andeza

Any time any of my non-pd coweorkers gave their notice I made sure to shake their hand and wish them well in life with a good smile on their last day. In my experience, pd coworkers never worked their whole notice. They always bugged out a couple of days in... some sort of last, flippant, "I'm unreliable" statement I guess. Whether you do or do not say anything to this person, I know you'll breathe a sigh of relief after they're gone.
Remember, that there are no real deadlines for life, just society's pressures.      - Anonymous
Lasting happiness is not something we find, but rather something we make for ourselves.

Spygirl

I find it interesting how these same dynamics occur pretty much everywhere. I experienced it in my marriage, in charity wk, and at my job.

I have decided that in volunteer wk, there are basically empaths and narcs.

In wk, its more complicated, but my company has potential employees take personality tests. I believe this is to FIND empathetic people, because they will work harder to please, and are more concerned about doing things properly. The last two years i learned to say NO to everyone when i had ENOUGH on my plate to do.

Life is so much better. Everything i was fretting about didnt happen.