Rant

[Twinkletoes88]

This morning I woke up to a message from one of my stepchildren saying that my sister has removed them from her Spotify family account. He wrote "I'm a bit upset, I've done nothing wrong".

I'm so, so mad at her. She hasn't spoken to me for months now and has since blocked me on social media and kicked me off her Spotify & that's fine, but why take it out on my stepson?

It makes me so mad. I'm trying hard not to "bite" and contact her today because I know that's probably what she wants - more evidence of me being horrible and angry but I am furious. Only last christmas she was with us and the children and had bought them niece and nephew cards and gifts etc like they were family to her.... and now it seems they are being cut-off like me. It all feels very childish.

I know the actual Spotify thing isn't a big deal really (though it is to my stepson today), but it's the point behind it that's got me.

Ahhh.

[moglow]

I know it bugs you, but y'all just have to let her be petty. It's her account and she can do what she wants with it - try to approach it that way with your son. We know it for what it is, her trying to get at you through him. It's just another confirmation that some people can't put it down and move on. Don't acknowledge it in any way - as my brother says, "they can't get your goat if they don't know where it is."

A sign of healing and growth for me has been when mother gets no response, internal or otherwise, when she pulls one of her stunts. That's when I know I'm doing the right thing for myself, when I can shrug and keep going. You'll get there. 

[Blueberry Pancakes]

Sorry that happened Twinkletoes. Yes, for sure it seems like a childish stunt but then I think such an act is reflective of the disorder.  They do things we ourselves would never do and you just cannot make sense of it. It has nothing to do with you or your stepchildren. It is her disorder playing out for all to see. Just know that you are alright and none of you did anything wrong. She is the one who did the offending act and you do not need to take that on.   

[lilwren]

It's like narcissists aren't happy unless they're getting negative attention.

Like Moglow said ... Don't let her know where your goat is. 

[StayWithMe]

Use this as an opportunity in how to manage people in or on the edge of your life that are simply just unpleasant.

This aunt, she's not your son's employer or recruiter from a college that he's interested?  If no, then explain to him that these things can happen within families.  He's done nothing wrong and the for the most part, when it's passive aggressive like this, the best thing to do is to ignore.  Ignore because the aunt doesn't know whether being on her spotifiy account is important.  but it might also mean that she will do something else to get attention, so watch and so on.

The younger they learn how to manage these things, the better. 

I'm very annoyed by the fact that our relatives on our father's side treated us like shit and yet, my parents still made feel that we should forthcoming with them.  My mother liked mentioning how mean I was to them without mentioning any incident in particular.