Was I ugly, or did I hold a boundary?!

[SparkStillLit]

My M does this all the time, where she calls in "favors" for herself or friends for whatever one's job is. Always unpaid, outside of said job.
Yesterday I was at work about to walk out the door to perform field inspection when I got an unintelligible message from M. I called her to see if it was emergent or important. "Yes!" She told me brightly. "It's work related!"
It boils down to, she wanted me to make a *personal* call to discuss a topic with her friend, right then, who was on her way to the county building where I work, to deal with some whatever about her property, but she wanted to "run some things by me".
I refused. I said I had to do the inspections. M insisted I had time to chat with the lady, I said I didn't, and if she really wanted it to be me, she could leave a message at my personal desk and I'd call her back when I got in from the field. M said she was in from out of town only for a short time. I pointed out we could talk on the phone any time. M said she just thought it would be "cool" if she could talk to me, since that was my JOB. I said I was a field inspector and going and doing these inspections is also my JOB. I continued to refuse to make the personal phone call, but offered the work call and the services of other inspectors who might be in house. M said "fine, I'll just tell her you're too busy". I said, tell her whatever you want, but those are all fine choices to get her questions answered about her property, and I got off the phone.
Now she's not talking to me (what a relief). I'm not answering the damn phone anymore, these people can call 911.

[bloomie]

SparkStillLit - you did very well prioritizing your professional responsibilities and holding the line in this exchange! Don't let the silent treatment cause self doubts.

This is a classic and excellent example of setting a boundary because something does not work for you. Period. You extended yourself to even call your mother in the first place during your other tasks and even went further in offering alternatives for her friend. More than kind of you. 

[Andeza]

Oh well done! Handled like a pro!

Perfectly good options any non pd would be happy with! Your m just wanted to throw her weight around and get you to show off for her friend on cue like a show dog. She tried very hard to guilt trip you too!

[p123]

OP - not at all - you were right.
I had it yesterday. I was at another site with no mobile signal (inside a computer room). Get out and my phone is binging - 15 missed calls from Dad.
So I'm driving back to my office anyway, and know when I get there theres a bit of an emergency (Which is why I was offsite). So I've got 30 mins drive.

Hes not happy that no-one has come today from his flat management company to fix his TV aerial and dish. I have to phone them NOW and tell them to get a move on. Of course, by the time hes finished I'm at the office - and I told him I was up to my neck in it.

NO I will ring them if and when I have time. He does not realise that, I have a job to do in the day, and yes if it was an emergency I would drop work but its not an emergency. He tried all ways to get his way after that.

[Lauren17]

Spark, you did an awesome job stating a boundary and then holding it. 

I like that you stated your boundary and then offered alternatives that worked both for you and for M. The tricky part (at least for me) is to remember that it's up to your M to choose whether to be happy with this result, not you.

[1footouttadefog]

This was likely all about her getting narc supply from knowing someone up there.  That she acted like it was an emergency speaks not to the other woman's issues, but to her own need for narcissitic supply. 

They are junkies and will do all the same things drug addicts will do to get a fix.

Good for not playing the game.