The Ex's Reality

[Kat54]

Had a nice dinner with my daughter tonight.  The subject of the divorce came up and she gave me a load of stuff she's had to deal with, her father vents to her and her brother.
He has family but they aren't close and friends we have had over the years he can claim to be great friends with but he has no one he can talk to except our kids.

He told daughter that I won't sign the divorce papers. We haven't even gotten to that part of the divorce. Everything is a process I told her and she said he's said all a long I've held everything up and I won't sign the papers? I'm so confused, but not really. He has his own narrative going on and he knows this as true. Is this real intense narcissism?

It's strange through our entire marriage this stuff would come up. I would think he was delusional or maybe crazy. Making things up out of air or the sky is purple and he believes it because he has said it.

I was as honest as all heck, maybe too much.

Layed out my part and why my ex has to now pay lawyer fees because if his blocking and delaying. She was I think a bit shocked.

He told her he's now buying the house twice because he has to pay me?? We paid it once when we built it and paying a mortgage, now paying me off and refinancing constitutes paying for the house....again? Holy moly, you can't even make this stuff up.
He's buying the house as if he were buying it from a stranger to buy it out completely. I think he truly doesn't understand?. Or he does and this is how he messes with his daughter and gaining her sympathy.

One moment I'm overwhelmed with what he does and the next I feel sorry for him. He lives in a very different world.

[Whiteheron]

I don't think it's supposed to make sense. He's written his own narrative in his head and is telling the kids in an effort to make it believable. To both himself and to anyone who will listen.

After one of his confrontations with stbx, DS came back with some wild stories about me, custody, and that I'm the reason stbx can't tell his gf about me yet because the divorce isn't final. I'm to blame for all of the conflict, the fact that stbx had to confront DS in the first place ( ). I'm to blame for the kids speaking to the GAL about him (alienation). It's insane. DS didn't want to believe any of it, but was looking to me for confirmation it wasn't true. That's how powerful my stbx's devotion to his narrative is.

It never makes any sense to me. I can't keep track anymore and I am completely exhausted.

[Kat54]

That's why I left. Trying to figure out where he was coming from and his views. It was always a very gross misinterpretation of what was really going on. But he would believe the crazy things he would say, and the lies.

He would get into physical confrontations with the kids when I wasn't home or even upstairs and they would cry and tell me what he did, he would tell a completely different story, and they would say right there he was lying which he would deny. At the time, Its who do you believe. It was insane craziness was the only way to describe it.  And the physical stuff was mostly pushing, shoving, sometimes arm twisting. Fighting over the TV remote, he would rip it out of their hands to watch what he wanted....  It was like having a third child.

And it was exhausting for sure.

[Whiteheron]

We had some of that going on before I filed - pushing, shoving, grabbing, poking. I would witness an event, later to hear stbx tell about it - it would be a completely different version. I brought some of this up in joint therapy, stbx used his famous words "I simply...." and he would continue with a gentler kinder version of what had transpired. I had to remind him that on one occasion I was present and saw him throw a tantrum in front of the kids. He still denied it. I remembered wrong and the kids were lying.