Submissive Wife - Christianity

[capybara]

Hi all, I remember seeing a post a week or two ago from someone who was struggling with the Christian idea of being a submissive wife while in a marriage to a pwPD. Sorry I couldn't find it again.

I am reading Cloud and Townsend's book, "Boundaries", and there are a couple of pages on just this topic. They point out that a wife's submission is not supposed to be like a slave submitting to his master, but like the church submitting to Christ. And that the men who demand wifely submission tend to be controlling and unchristian towards their wives. Their view is that the wife *should* set limits in some cases.

Anyway, I recommend the book highly for anyone who is comfortable with a very Christian perspective, and that section may be helpful.

[all4peace]

Thanks for sharing! Per my memory of that particular passage of scripture, I believe husbands and wives are called to submit to one another, basically looking out for the well-being and care of the other.

[SquarePegs80]

The verse is intended yes for those who don't control or demand for us to be like a slave. The verse doesn't apply if we are living with a PD person because the PD person will walk all over us. Boundaries need to be established with a PD and there is no way around it because they are disordered in their thinking believe me I know I am a Christian husband is a professing believer but because of his PD his view of the Bible and scripture verses are skewed and he uses them inappropriately(mainly against me public enemy no#1)when he is in his abusive cycle. I have put a boundary up where we only pray over our food, for grand kids, children and that is it no more Bible and scripture talk because he uses God's word like a weapon. I no longer attend church with him after 31 years of abusing me and the church, I told him that God didn't call me to abuse. I am in a much better place now in my Christian walk and seek to know God more personally more now than ever. Watch out for Bible scripture abuse, it can cause a lot of confusion. 

[1footouttadefog]

Yes, the h's who demand submission are seldom they type who would as Christ did, lay down their lives for the church or the wife who is in that role in the analogy.   

[Julian R]

As a Christian husband and having some teaching responsibility in church - I agree wholeheartedly with your interpretation of Ephesians 5  and the submission of wives.  I also lament the way in which this idea / these verses have been misused to justify abuse - I am sorry.

As a Christian husband of a unDPW who is rather un-submissive and difficult and trying  - I find it hard to know how to love her best - I am struggling to know what love looks like in this situation - and running low on love.  Hurt and weary ...

[Mary]

I have recently studied Sarah in the bible more carefully. I Peter 3 says to submit like her, as long as we do well and are not afraid. So, how did she submit? She raised their son Isaac. She followed Abraham where God led him. She bossed Abraham around some. On one point she did not do well, and I think Peter is emphasizing that here. She should not have gone along with Abraham's half-baked plan to tell a heathen king she was Abraham's sister. Abraham, and perhaps Sarah herself, was afraid the king would harm Abraham if the king knew beautiful Sarah was his wife.

We also have the story of Saphira that God killed for going along with her husband to lie. Clearly she should have said no to him. So we see that scriptural submitting is not kowtowing to his every whim. Yet we seek to do him good, which might be a setting a boundary, and not be afraid.

[Mary]

As a Christian husband of a unDPW who is rather un-submissive and difficult and trying  - I find it hard to know how to love her best - I am struggling to know what love looks like in this situation - and running low on love.  Hurt and weary ...

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Peace,
Mary