More game playing or ill?

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Jorainbow

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More game playing or ill?
« on: October 09, 2019, 09:32:41 PM »
Today my H was prescribed anti depressants though he has been given the OK to go back to work. This follows on from 2 weeks ago when I announced I wanted to separate and he suddenly became unwell though also started doing stuff round the house (hoovering I think?). Today we were due to go out and were discussing things and it got a little tense but the next thing he's asking to be let out if the car. Apparently he was scared of me and everything. I assumed it was a panic attack but he says no he was just scared. He got out I left him to it though did call a little later to check he was ok given his diagnosis but got no response. I got home a couple of hours later to his big rucksack packed (again). He had decided it's better for us both if he leaves which would be OK if find in an adult way but he's taken himself up the moors behind our house in the freezing cold and rain.  Forgotten his new meds. Took the time to tell me I had told him loud and clear that's what I wanted (contradicting himself) and again that he was scared of me in the car (we were doing 20mph in a built up area). It's all getting a little crazy and I really don't know how to deal with this. Any suggestions? Leave him to it? Is this just games?

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Free2Bme

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Re: More game playing or ill?
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2019, 10:48:46 PM »
Jorainbow,

I am certainly no expert but it would seem to me that H needs an eval pretty quickly.  I'm guessing you are in the UK, so I am not familiar with how things are handled abroad.   I would call his prescribing doctor and fill him in on the lastest or if you feel it is warranted, take him to an ER.
If this is attention seeking behavior or he is legitimately "scared", either way, this is not a normal/healthy behavior.  If he is bluffing, then teach him that when people behave in an unstable manner, they are treated as such.  Reason being, they might be a threat to themselves and need help in order to be safe.  What was his diagnosis? 

Once he is under the care of someone, you can have a dialogue with his doctor and determine what your response will be.  Going forward with antidepressants sounds like a good plan, just be aware of the potential side effects of his particular Rx.  Antidepressants are not a one-size-fits-all, he may need to try a couple until he finds the one that works best for him. 

Wishing you strength and clear thinking.

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SparkStillLit

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Re: More game playing or ill?
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2019, 01:09:35 AM »
I agree with that, and I don't know how it's done over across the pond there, but I'd call 911 (your equivalent) and say he's taken off without his necessary meds, it's cold and nasty, and you're concerned for his welfare, he may not be in a good mental state. Either way, you're getting help. Either he's faking it and that puts paid to that shizz, or he really does need help and you're getting it. You win. No BS.

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Jorainbow

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Re: More game playing or ill?
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2019, 03:17:47 AM »
Thanks both. Yes in the UK so I intend to call his GP today and pass on my concerns. He's been diagnosed with reactive depression and put on mirtazepine which is a sedating AD to help his sleep. We were discussing how he could look at lifestyle changes and taking whatever was causing him stress one bit at a time before the car episode as from personal experience AD's are not always the answer. I left the keys out in a pot last night told him where they were and left him to it. He's just text saying morning did you sleep well. When I said no he didn't respond. I them asked him and he said no but it was nice watching the clouds and stars. I'll be calling his Dr to let her know today as that's all I can do. I don't think he's at risk and he won't go to a and e as it's at the hospital he works at and is about to do a placement in so that definitely wouldn't happen.

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1footouttadefog

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Re: More game playing or ill?
« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2019, 02:25:45 PM »
I would react to his behaviours without regard to his diagnoses, and threats etc.

If he is acting in a way that indicates harm to himself get him professional help.  Even if you suspect he is playing you.  Leave it to his care providers to determine what is true and what is not. 

Protect yourself and don't fail to listen to your gut instincts.  Stay strong and logical.

BTW, sudden cessation of antidepressants is a dangerous situation in and of itself. 

Additionally many medications can make matters worse.  My spouse tried several that made things much worse.  The silver lining was that this information was useful in getting to a mix that eventually helped stabilize things alot.

Stay strong.  Stay safe.

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Jorainbow

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Re: More game playing or ill?
« Reply #5 on: October 12, 2019, 02:28:18 AM »
Thanks 1foot. He's only just started the meds (two day in) so I doubt they will have kicked in at all yet. I spoke to his GP and she is reviewing him in two weeks. He's been fine since, going in to work to sort his next placement and doing day to day stuff. He admitted it wasn't because he is depressed but simply to get away from an argument that he went off. I'm back to getting on with my life and will continue divorce prep without discussion.