Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?

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Blueberry Pancakes

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I am VLC with my parents, but each time I spend more than ten minutes with them, they bring up some new aspect of how they are changing their will.  Are they doing this to try to remain in control?  I am actually tired of hearing about it.  I have my own money and am not counting on anything from them anyway.  They gave me a copy of their will a few years ago, and it stated remaining assets will be split between me and my older sister 50/50 except for one thing.  They named my sister as executor and are allowing her to take a payment of her choosing from their assets to compensate for her time and to also pay anyone else she hires to help her out. After that, then she is to split whatever remains with me 50/50.  I was a bit appalled at that condition because my parents effectively allowed my sister to use her own judgement on what to give me.  I have been No Contact with her for over one year.  Her judgement toward me will not be objective.
 
Also, my parents recently said my sister had them re-write their will so any assets that would have gone to her will instead be distributed directly to her children.  My sister wanted any inheritance to pass through her and go to her kids.  My parents then told me to make sure any of my inheritance from them does not go to any of the kids on my husband's side and asked that I keep it only on my side. They asked that I keep their money "in the family".  What the heck is this all about?   My parents do not have a ton of money, so this all seems like posturing and manipulation.  I wonder if my GC sister is working some weird angle. Does anyone else have similar things going on in your family? 
 

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p123

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2019, 01:11:29 PM »
I am VLC with my parents, but each time I spend more than ten minutes with them, they bring up some new aspect of how they are changing their will.  Are they doing this to try to remain in control?  I am actually tired of hearing about it.  I have my own money and am not counting on anything from them anyway.  They gave me a copy of their will a few years ago, and it stated remaining assets will be split between me and my older sister 50/50 except for one thing.  They named my sister as executor and are allowing her to take a payment of her choosing from their assets to compensate for her time and to also pay anyone else she hires to help her out. After that, then she is to split whatever remains with me 50/50.  I was a bit appalled at that condition because my parents effectively allowed my sister to use her own judgement on what to give me.  I have been No Contact with her for over one year.  Her judgement toward me will not be objective.
 
Also, my parents recently said my sister had them re-write their will so any assets that would have gone to her will instead be distributed directly to her children.  My sister wanted any inheritance to pass through her and go to her kids.  My parents then told me to make sure any of my inheritance from them does not go to any of the kids on my husband's side and asked that I keep it only on my side. They asked that I keep their money "in the family".  What the heck is this all about?   My parents do not have a ton of money, so this all seems like posturing and manipulation.  I wonder if my GC sister is working some weird angle. Does anyone else have similar things going on in your family?

Sounds well dodgy to me. Yes especially the bit about your sister being able to take a payment for her time.....
With the kids, thats not on I'd say. Sounds like sister has been at this.

My Dads the same, Yeh great Dad, thanks but don't keep going on about it as if its something to hold over me. Its a decent amount but not a HUGE amount either.

Although, despite telling him literally 100s of times, it'll all be gone if hes got to go into care. Hes better off spending it on himself now. BUT he won't listen. I suspect because brother is doing the opposite.

Another thing Dad is not listening about his will. And this is going to be trouble I know.

His savings are about £40K - so £20K each for me and my brother.
He part owns his home (he owns 40% pays rent on the rest - its complicated). This 40% he owns probably is about £60K (so £30K if it gets sold).

Brother is adamant he will move into the flat (he rents at the moment). You can see the problem here. He hasn't worked out that £30K is in fact mine at this point. Hes not the cleverest. His attitude is "well you've got a house I havent". Even if he did work that one out and he gave me his £20K cash share. hes still £10K short.

To be honest, I can foresee court cases and solicitors, abuse for me on facebook. I'm going to be the mean one who won't let him live there and pay me back the £10K (yeh right he will!)

OP - I guess you're different as your sister is the executor. If  it was me I think I'd take it legal if she tried to give herself a massive fee. Surely theres laws against this?

Also, the kids thing. Seems she could be very nasty here too.

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GettingOOTF

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2019, 01:33:59 PM »
My father would mention frequently that all three of us will get “equal shares”, but he’s also named my sister as executor and she lives in his house with her family so I see nothing but drama ahead.

His assets are pretty much the same as p123’s father.

Personally I wish he’d leave me off. I have a good job and my own savings. It’s not worth the drama to me.

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p123

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2019, 02:03:06 PM »
My father would mention frequently that all three of us will get ďequal sharesĒ, but heís also named my sister as executor and she lives in his house with her family so I see nothing but drama ahead.

His assets are pretty much the same as p123ís father.

Personally I wish heíd leave me off. I have a good job and my own savings. Itís not worth the drama to me.

Yeh I think that sometimes.... I dont want the money. I do ok anyway.


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scapegoat/caregiver

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2019, 04:48:21 PM »
I have a LOT of experience in this department. ALOT.  With this site and research/ therapy I have figured out I will not get anything. They will LIE and LEAD on to get me to do all the work, take care of them..... but in the end I will get zero. They lie.

I hope I am wrong about your situation but in my opinion  you are being set up. The GC is working behind your back most likely prepping them to get all the control and the money and assets .

 They are leading you on to make sure they have someone to count on when needed.  (medical care) 
 After my brother died... there was only me and my GC NS
(there were 3 of us originally)  I knew something was going on.  My parents and GC NS are materialistic and place money and objects above value of people.  My sister GC did a "drive by F you" one day when we were alone.
she said quote " When I am done using you... i'm going to get rid of you..... I tell ND what to do and he tells NM what to do....I AM IN CHARGE AND I AM TAKING ALL OF IT"  (We are talking about a lot of money... they are very wealthy. )
My NF told me when I was alone with him...whatever I get from the inheritence he would like me to give all of it to the GC Sister..basically denouncing me as his daughter.
both times I was alone with them ..both times they just act like this is OK  nothing wrong.... I have no feelings that they would be concerned about.
My NF passed and I thought maybe...just maybe... I would have a MOM for the first time in my life now that he was gone.....NOOOOO
she is just like him.  Now that I am getting Out of the FOG I can see how she is so spiteful and cruel that she will NEVER let me have anything at all
I did nothing wrong...been a pattern all my life...EVEN WHEN I WAS A CHILD
Look at the patterns....did they ever want you to have anything.? ..did they give you things as gifts then take them back.? .do they lie.?  make promises then not keep them????  this could be just another carrot on the string... promise that they will not keep from the grave.  all the other issues regarding money with strings attached......CONTROL 

         

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moglow

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #5 on: October 14, 2019, 05:05:23 PM »
My mother tried to discuss it with me several times - my response is and will remain, it's your stuff. Do with it whatever you want. And I mean it. Short of investing in kerosene and torching her hoard-fest when she's gone, I'd just as soon be left out if it.

She was visibly disappointed when my brothers and I didn't go to war when Daddy died, kept saying "you just wait, it's going to be ugly." Um no. She was stunned that we didnt argue or talk smack - to her that's just how it was supposed to be.

I stepped up as representative of the estate because I was local and available, did what had to be done. In our state the rep/executor has to contact all heirs and report back to the court all distribution. You have to answer to the court if questions arise. With Daddy's there was simply nothing to hide - there were bills to be paid and checks to be distributed, his house to be cleaned out. We had limited time so we just did what had to be done.

But talk about it, have endless discussions with her about the fate of her treasures, revisit her attempts to play divide and conquer? Nope, not interested.


I will say this though, one of mother's nieces cut the rest of her siblings out while their mother (my mother's sister) was in her final months. She stepped in as caregiver, cut off all communication and made last minute trips to the attorney to make changes to her will, claiming it was at her mother's request. She eventually made all the funeral arrangements and told her sisters what they were, but no one was allowed back to the house after - and she sold the entire property within the year. Oddly enough this is the one mother likes, and rubbed her hands gleefully while she watched that trainwreck.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2019, 05:12:53 PM by moglow »
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KeepONKeepingON

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #6 on: October 14, 2019, 07:51:13 PM »
I am very LC, so my parents haven't told me directly.  8-)

Brother has told me that GC Sis is the executor of my father's will. That does not feel fair and GC sister is vindictive and biased against me.  :blink:

GC sister has not spoken me since I started putting up boundaries. My therapist believes that BPD mother and sister ghost me now, as I will not be manipulated.  :ninja:

If my father left me money it would help my FOC and I. It would definitely make life a bit easier for us.

But I don't expect anything, so if I get anything it will be a bonus. Plus DH and I are doing well in our careers and work hard, so we will most likely get there on our steam!

I do find these efforts at continuing to stir up trouble between siblings horrible and why would any parent not want to help their children? I would never do this to my LOs.   

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nanotech

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #7 on: October 14, 2019, 08:23:46 PM »
You have to have 2 executors in the UK and Iím one of them. Brother is the other one. Heís a solicitor though and NPD so Iím expecting some fun and games when my dad passes!

They did talk about inheritance a lot. Mum passed; but before she did they put the house in trust. I think it means we are less likely to have to sell it to pay any care bills for dad should he need long term nursing. But Iíve really  no idea what will happen. And I canít ask anyone in the family.

Because of the dysfunction and estrangement in the family,there is no solid, healthy  communication on it. The only conversation on it has been my brotherís inexplicable idea that I alone should pay for my dadís funeral! He said that with a little legal procedure in place he could later Ďget that back for me out of the willí. A solicitor would be needed.
I stupidly said yes, then thought about it, realised that he was getting me to be Ďthe fixeríyet again, then I  said no. Also, why  pay a solicitor for an unnecessary procedure?
He wasnít happy, but that was that.
He knows there is money there. My dad has some savings, and brother is the co-signer on that account. Thereís plenty in there for a funeral. My dad has told me this in the past.
I think when my dad dies thereís nothing to stop Nbrother just transferring that money into his account. He may not, but he can.
With the co-signing thing a few years back,, my dad had fun trying to pitch us against each other. He said to me that if I had lived locally, I would have been his first choice as cosignee. ( I could literally  hear him smiling over the phone! They love stirring the s... and watching us fight to be favourite.

Except I donít do that anymore, yeah!

What will be will be.
What is contestable, will be contested!

Being cosignee gives  Nbrother a lot of power financially. Heís also POA.
At the time parents told us sisters that you could only have on POA. THAT wasnít, and isnít true. Was it my parents lying, or Nbrother lying to my parents?

Anyway, back to the power.
Heíll probably use it.
Lord knows what will occur.
 BUT I will cope!

Dad also likes to talk about his lottery plans, how he divide the money into 5 and give each of his kids a portion and have one for himself.
This is money he hasnít even got hasnít  won and is unlikely to win.
He just likes to be in control financially. He just wants to be 👑  of the family.
Heís trying to control us all with a fairy story.

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p123

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2019, 06:40:00 AM »
You have to have 2 executors in the UK and Iím one of them. Brother is the other one. Heís a solicitor though and NPD so Iím expecting some fun and games when my dad passes!

They did talk about inheritance a lot. Mum passed; but before she did they put the house in trust. I think it means we are less likely to have to sell it to pay any care bills for dad should he need long term nursing. But Iíve really  no idea what will happen. And I canít ask anyone in the family.

Because of the dysfunction and estrangement in the family,there is no solid, healthy  communication on it. The only conversation on it has been my brotherís inexplicable idea that I alone should pay for my dadís funeral! He said that with a little legal procedure in place he could later Ďget that back for me out of the willí. A solicitor would be needed.
I stupidly said yes, then thought about it, realised that he was getting me to be Ďthe fixeríyet again, then I  said no. Also, why  pay a solicitor for an unnecessary procedure?
He wasnít happy, but that was that.
He knows there is money there. My dad has some savings, and brother is the co-signer on that account. Thereís plenty in there for a funeral. My dad has told me this in the past.
I think when my dad dies thereís nothing to stop Nbrother just transferring that money into his account. He may not, but he can.
With the co-signing thing a few years back,, my dad had fun trying to pitch us against each other. He said to me that if I had lived locally, I would have been his first choice as cosignee. ( I could literally  hear him smiling over the phone! They love stirring the s... and watching us fight to be favourite.

Except I donít do that anymore, yeah!

What will be will be.
What is contestable, will be contested!

Being cosignee gives  Nbrother a lot of power financially. Heís also POA.
At the time parents told us sisters that you could only have on POA. THAT wasnít, and isnít true. Was it my parents lying, or Nbrother lying to my parents?

Anyway, back to the power.
Heíll probably use it.
Lord knows what will occur.
 BUT I will cope!

Dad also likes to talk about his lottery plans, how he divide the money into 5 and give each of his kids a portion and have one for himself.
This is money he hasnít even got hasnít  won and is unlikely to win.
He just likes to be in control financially. He just wants to be 👑  of the family.
Heís trying to control us all with a fairy story.

So in the uk, the two executors are listed in the will? I guess Dad would have taken the easy option and listed the both of us.

So if there are two who sorts it out if there is a difference of opinion?

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nanotech

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2019, 09:38:00 AM »
I wish I knew.
I think we both have to agree.
Itís going to be a nightmare.
I think Nbrother will suggest to me that I bow out of it.
This is an option I think. 

But Iím not going to do that.

It could  be all changed by the time my dad passes. Nbrother is the only child my dad listens to and takes heed of.  I may well be off the list!

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Happypants

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #10 on: October 15, 2019, 10:49:07 AM »
My dad removed me as co-executor after a particularly nasty episode during my motherís smear campaign against me.  And he (as judge, jury and executioner) gained the ultimate upper hand in telling me so.  I donít remember being surprised, and perhaps didnít react in the way he would have expected (I was passive and prioritised keeping under the radar at the time for my mental health).

This was approximately 5-6 years ago and it has never come up again, but i do wonder if iíll be granted approval and sometime soon seeing as they have changed tack with me recently.  They are getting older and may need help in the future, and despite everything, iím do want to and will help.  But how iíd react to the royal pardon of being placed as co-executor again, I donít know.  I hope it doesnít come up.  The choice between betraying myself by quietly accepting, or saying no and telling him why is one that i struggle with.  But the act of removing me, and telling me, was probably the most hurtful thing he did. 

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Blueberry Pancakes

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #11 on: October 15, 2019, 12:10:13 PM »
Thanks to all who replied. We are all going through such similar things, it is a great outlet to have a forum to share with those who get it. 

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GettingOOTF

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #12 on: October 15, 2019, 04:25:19 PM »
I feel like this is another way my father doesnít acknowledge that Iím an independent adult, nor does he recognize any of my achievements.

He acts like this is some grand gesture and that we will all be fighting over his money.

I have a successful career. I am the most financially successful person in my entire extended family. Iím also not petty and the kind of person who would care if someone got all the china and I only got a few mugs. My family is solidly working class, all my fathers assets were left to him by my grandparents who were frugal and made sure they saved, there is no ďfamily chinaĒ or much money.  None of us went to college and I hustled and worked my butt off to get where I am in my corporate career.

Thereís something about the way he stresses how we are all getting equal portions that rubs me the wrong way.

It also winds up my middle sibling. She is convinced the youngest will ďcheatĒ us, which she probably will. But itís such a small amount of money in the  great scheme of things. Also, men on my fatherís side live long lives. Heís probably got a solid 10 years left in him at least. We are all in our 40s.

I guess the control aspect of all of this triggers something for me.

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lkdrymom

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #13 on: October 16, 2019, 08:33:15 AM »
My father HAD a fair amount of money (enough to pay for my house in cash) before going into assisted living and he made sure to remind me that I get everything...only child. It was his way of keeping me around.  Once he went into AL I gave up any idea of assisted living but he keeps trying to hold that grand inheritance over my head and I keep telling that that by the time he passes there won't be anything left.  At least he did give one of my kids some money towards college but with the Medicaid look back that may bite us in the ass later.

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Leonor

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #14 on: October 16, 2019, 10:51:07 AM »
Yes yes yes. This is a control move. It's easy (all you have to do is say the words), anxiety-producing (because it implies the impending death of the parent), and provocative (because it divides parental favor among siblings). And of course, ... money! Which is a BPD's favorite tool to manipulate everyone else, from "I don't have as much as you" to "I don't have any left because of you" to "I have a lot more than you" to "I have a lot and I'd like to see you dance in the false hope that you'll earn it from me." Utter BS.

The only way to win, as the movie says, is not to play. Back to your BPD toolbox: medium chill, disengagement, no JADE. Words like will and money and love and people and lawyer, they're just words. It's white noise on a television, it's traffic on a busy street.

Tend to you. Your parents are playing with your feelings, but the feelings are real. Acknowledge your reality, honor your experience.

PS. Where we're from in Europe, we can refuse an inheritance altogether. In part, we don't want to play the game. Neither do we want to tacitly accept responsibility for any "surprise" debts or liens. Let the rest of them fight over a few things like hyenas if that's what they want to do.




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p123

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #15 on: October 16, 2019, 11:09:28 AM »
I feel like this is another way my father doesnít acknowledge that Iím an independent adult, nor does he recognize any of my achievements.

He acts like this is some grand gesture and that we will all be fighting over his money.

I have a successful career. I am the most financially successful person in my entire extended family. Iím also not petty and the kind of person who would care if someone got all the china and I only got a few mugs. My family is solidly working class, all my fathers assets were left to him by my grandparents who were frugal and made sure they saved, there is no ďfamily chinaĒ or much money.  None of us went to college and I hustled and worked my butt off to get where I am in my corporate career.

Thereís something about the way he stresses how we are all getting equal portions that rubs me the wrong way.

It also winds up my middle sibling. She is convinced the youngest will ďcheatĒ us, which she probably will. But itís such a small amount of money in the  great scheme of things. Also, men on my fatherís side live long lives. Heís probably got a solid 10 years left in him at least. We are all in our 40s.

I guess the control aspect of all of this triggers something for me.

Yep Dad and his "inheritance". Would think it was a billion pounds sometimes....

Yes its ok - about £100K between two of all told. But I'm not going to starve without it. Just flipping spend it on yourself!

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Fortuna

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2019, 11:39:09 AM »
My mom doesn't talk much about inheritance. As an only child, in order for her to not be equal she'd have to start doing something weird like leaving it only to one of my kids or to a cousin or something, so it's never been a thing. I also fully expect the eventual nursing home to take it all if she doesn't lose it due to poor money management.But life insurance though...
At one point she decided she didn't want to pay for life insurance anymore. Her exact quote was "What do I care, I'll be dead?" so she asked my husband and I if we wanted to pay for it. At which point my husband asked, "do we really want to be paying for something that is basically taking bets on when she'll die?" The answer was no and we declined. It was yet another odd moment that highlighted that she only cares about herself and no one else.

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nanotech

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #17 on: October 16, 2019, 08:43:50 PM »
I feel like this is another way my father doesnít acknowledge that Iím an independent adult, nor does he recognize any of my achievements.

He acts like this is some grand gesture and that we will all be fighting over his money.

I have a successful career. I am the most financially successful person in my entire extended family. Iím also not petty and the kind of person who would care if someone got all the china and I only got a few mugs. My family is solidly working class, all my fathers assets were left to him by my grandparents who were frugal and made sure they saved, there is no ďfamily chinaĒ or much money.  None of us went to college and I hustled and worked my butt off to get where I am in my corporate career.

Thereís something about the way he stresses how we are all getting equal portions that rubs me the wrong way.

It also winds up my middle sibling. She is convinced the youngest will ďcheatĒ us, which she probably will. But itís such a small amount of money in the  great scheme of things. Also, men on my fatherís side live long lives. Heís probably got a solid 10 years left in him at least. We are all in our 40s.

I guess the control aspect of all of this triggers something for me.

Yes. Youíve made me realise why I never liked my parents stressing that the portions will all be exactly the same.

It seems a nice kind thing to say.

Yet it should go WITHOUT saying, shouldnít it?

The constant repetition of how they  absolutely insist it will be equally divided, can begin to imply that maybe in order to perform this heroic task,  they had to first fight their strong inclinations toward favouritism.

Possibly. I know I never liked hearing it.

Then I would have to listen to my mother say proudly  that there were Ď no favourites in this family!íí
Ermm  yes there were, and are.
Younger sis and golden child younger brother were and are  clearly  the favourites.
Iíve recognised fully and come to terms with this now, ( well nearly!) but while in the fog I didnít want to believe it. Nsister used to rant about the favouritism and I used to defend our parents.

Until my mum got seriously ill, and certain things happened so that it just couldnít be denied.,

Further, my dad has tried three times to get me to advise him on whether he should arrange Nsisterís money so that she only receives so much per year. She is an awful spendaholic( addiction?) but dad this is NOT   my decision- itís your responsibility !

It would probably read in his will, Ď Iíve done this with Nsisterís money on the advice of Nano!í  They canít take responsibility for anything and Iíd be the blame bunny. No thanks dad.

Guess what, he might blame me anyway. Who knows how he remembered our conversations! Even engaging just to say no,   can amount to tacit agreement, yes, in our family!


Oh well I will deal with it as I no longer care what they all think.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2019, 08:57:37 PM by nanotech »

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Free Rebel

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #18 on: October 23, 2019, 01:54:11 PM »
The inheritance "talk" has been something that my narc parents started when my late sister and I were little girls.  If we didn't allow them to control even small things in our lives the "inheritance" issue always came up.  It continued even after we went no contact with them.  I got calls when I was in contact with them that they were going to leave me in charge of their estate since I was better with money than my sister was.  When my sister and I reunited she told me that she got the same call, ROFL!!!   :stars:  We both told them separately that we would be fair and divide it 50/50.  Of course they both hated that and wanted us to fight and argue and get stingy towards each other.  Even when my sister and I were estranged we didn't try to drive the bus over the other one.

My narc mother called me up years ago and let me know that she wanted me to be in charge of my niece's spending since she was planning to leave a great amount to her.  The point of her calls to tell me that was to let me know she had no intention of leaving my two children anything.  I never answered her and gave her no emotion and told her that my niece had a mother at the time and why not ask her instead of me?  My mother's answer was that my sister was horrible with money and so was my niece.  I don't know about my niece but I know that my sister never was horrible with money but I left it alone and my no commitment or agreement gave my narc mother her answer. 

When my sister and I finally reunited, we got a call from my narc father's only living sister telling us that it was a shame we were going to be disinherited since we had walked away from our parents.  Of course my narc father played his "ace in the hole", or so he thought since they think that money equates power and control.  My sister and I laughed about it because we knew it was coming as we had heard our entire lives we were going to be disowned and disinherited.  Did they think that we had forgotten that?  :blink:

When that didn't work, our narc father contacted my sister and told her that ONE of us would inherit and the other one would get nothing but that we needed to let them know which one VERY SOON.  We never reacted or said a thing so they got their answer.  Even with my lovely sister no longer being here and I'm now the only child they have, I know my children and I will receive nothing and it will all go to my niece.  I refuse to be in their lives and I know as the scapegoat from the beginning that I would never inherit anything from them.  I hope they use that money for their medical care because they will not be receiving help from me.  I did more than my part my entire life and since they have thrown me and my children under the bus and abused us so much, I would be insane to return to that nightmare life again.  My niece will not take care of them either as she has her own mental issues and she is not the type to take care of others. 

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nanotech

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Re: Do your elderly NPD parents keep talking about your inheritance?
« Reply #19 on: October 23, 2019, 09:28:50 PM »
Just an update on UK wills. Iíve been reading up and yes,  I think you CAN have one executor. So what I wrote before, that you have to have two, was misleading.
Itís what my parents told me, Iím sure it was.
I was made executor when I was in favour with them. They donít trust older Nsis and younger sis shuns anything like this.
 I fell out of favour with them a few years later ( I upset the golden child- long story but I was used as a flying monkey then thrown under the bus by my mum) so I may have been removed as executor.
I hope I have been. Itís going to be a nightmare.
Iíve been thinking, and I might just ask him to remove me.
Soon after I got the news about being executor I had NSIS tell me that I would have to fight Nbrother (who is selfish), and that the pressure will be on ME to make sure my two sisters get their money!
 I actually donít want that responsibility!
I think I may be getting set up to be the scapegoat of any mistakes made.
Any advice gratefully received!
« Last Edit: October 23, 2019, 09:31:14 PM by nanotech »