Joining As I Separate from BPDW

[ChevyChase]

Good morning,

A note to say hi as after 22 years I have decided to divorce my wife.  While I suspect undiagnosed BPD I have finally had the fairy dust removed from my eyes and see the pattern of control and verbal and emotional abuse.

Also have changed 180 degrees and believe the kids are worse off if we stay together (they are 14 and 12) and much better off seeing me in a positive light and in a healthy relationship in the future.

ChevyChase

[Penny Lane]

Hi ChevyChase,
Welcome. This is a tough time for you, and I hope the forum can offer you the support you need.

You are doing a very brave and very difficult thing, for yourself and your kids.

It might help to browse the toolbox and resources at the top of the page. The folks on the separating and divorcing board have been where you are and they might have a lot of suggestions and support for you. If you have any specific questions or need commiseration about a specific thing, that'd be a great place to start.

See you around the boards.

[ChevyChase]

Thanks Penny Lane!

I moved from lurker to active participant over on that board.  Appreciate your advice.

[PeanutButter]

Hi chevychase. Welcome!
IMO I think you should trust yourself and your instinct about what is best for your children!
I hope you also start thinking about what is best for you too. You deserve to have all the things that would bring you happiness!
I wish my enF would have left my ubpdM. She allianated us from my F while they remained married. I seen through to her hipocracy. My siblings mostly bought all the BS. ACTIONS always tell the truth about who someone is no matter how good their talk is.IME