NC with NM now bro and sis won't speak to me

[sarandro]

I chose to go NC with my Mum after my En Dad's death (see other posts)

Brother....the enabler...I thought he understood and sent him an e mail with the reasons why.
Sister...the GC...She would not understand, but I sent a message anyway.

From Brother...'When are you going to contact Mum...she's worried about you.

From Sister...'How can you...she's your Mum and is lonely and old, you should put your differences aside.

Now a bit of background...
Brother is an enabler, always doing exactly what Mum wants, he will drop everything.
He has a full time job but no family and lives in the same town.

Sister is the GC....good job...lives away, she has a partner but no family, it's always 'Holiday Time' when she visits Mum.

I have three sons, a lovely husband and live 10 mins away, but I have no job because of chronic illness.

Are both my bro and sis are so enmeshed that they can't speak to me because of the NC with Mum.
I say:
We are separate people aren't we and can speak to each other without it always being about Mum??

They have always been a threesome...triangulation at it's very worst.
My Mother has always said that I would have be the one to look after her, after all, I am unemployed, my brother is too busy and my sister would have to take holiday to do it.

So I was the default choice...the SG, despite being ostracised, I was her best choice!!!!!
The eldest daughter HAS to look after elderly Mum

When I said I wasn't going to do it and the reasons why...WW3!!!!....so I went NC with NM.

Not a blooming word from either of my siblings.

I have the feeling that they think I am somehow punishing my Mum and are punishing me back by not talking

I am NC to protect myself...not to punish anyone.
They have both been damaged by our parents behaviours, but I am the only one to speak of it therefore I must be MAD!

Any thoughts or advice would be gratefully received XX

[notrightinthehead]

I would just stick to my decision and busy myself otherwise. With time they will notice that your behaviour has changed and they will make another plan or increase the pressure on you.

[practical]

I'm really sorry. It sounds like to your siblings you may have been a function, a doing not a being, and with you refusing to fill that function: be your M's caretaker, they have no interest in you. They may also try to punish you so you go back to your assigned role and toe the line again. It is one of the unfortunate experiences that when you go NC with one family member others often choose sides, especially when they were part of the set up. Like Notrightinthehead says, stick to your decision. You are the only person who can take care of yourself.