Pushback with Boundary -advice welcomed

[Fortuna]

So I'm VLC with my uPDmom. We see her a few days around the holidays and she does a video chat weekly with the grandkids, which I listen in on. Usually the chats have gone on for about an hour, but when we originally scheduled them it was for 30 minutes. But I figured if the kids wanted to talk for that long I'd let it go.

But recently the hour long sessions have included the kids leaving her staring at the wall while they get something, or setting up a board game that she can' even see and 'playing' it with her to fill up time. Add to that the annoyance of being unable to pick my husband up from work so he has to get the bus (I won't leave kids alone with her even on a chat), and it keeps pushing dinner back and even homework sometimes is getting done after. It's become too much. (There is also an issue of dealing with her tone for a full hour, but that's my issue not the kids)

So I texted her and told her we needed to keep them to half an hour. She asked why and I told her busy, homework and dinner issues.

Her response was that she wanted me to come up with anther plan, because half an hour a week and 4 days a year "isn't much grandma time."
I can see the guilt tripping and hint of familial obligation like a neon sign and dealing with it is giving me a stomach ache.

I'm looking for the best way to handle this. I've seen some talk on the boards that telling PD's more than once is often counter productive.  Should I ignore her response and just tell the kids to wrap it up at 30 minutes or reiterate the half hour limit. Any particularly tactful wording?

[all4peace]

DH and I have brought this issue to therapy many times. We get the same response time: Repeat the boundary with love.

It could look like this: "I understand you would prefer more time, mom. I really get that. I wish that would work for my family, but it doesn't. We're so glad we can have this 1/2 hour with you, but then we will need to go. Can't wait to talk next time!" (or whatever fits your personality, your truth)

Her response is not your responsibility. It is not your job to make her life full of interaction with you. Your responsibility is to you, your marriage, your children. Her responsibility is to take care of her own self. It is truly lovely and loving that you share your family with her in this way, and it is entirely reasonable and fair for you to end the Skype sessions in a way that allows you to be a loving mother and wife and person to yourself.

She won't like it. That's her adult issue to deal with, just like the rest of us have to deal with things that are uncomfortable and that we don't like.

[Fortuna]

Thanks. I was struggling with what to say. I was honestly trying not to have a Yosemite Sam moment. But your suggestion has given me a good example of what I can work with to make her understand that the boundary isn't going anywhere and it's not about punishing her.