Went To Get My Things

Started by Kat54, October 20, 2019, 01:02:46 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Kat54

He started flipping out. I Brought boxes to pack  art books in and he got twisted that he couldn't see what I was taking. I stuck Strictly to the list.  He said he didn't trust me and was muttering under his breath about me being a thief.

I found my jewelry box but he cleaned it out of anything he had given to me.  So who's the thief here. He can keep it I don't care.

I felt sick to my stomach having to deal with him.  But another hurdle and a few more to go.

I Have to make arrangements to get furniture and will store it in a pod until I find a home. But I can't go back to that house alone to get things. I was getting nervous he was so angry.  I don't like involving my family for this stuff so not sure what to do the next time I have to go get things. Still have my artwork there and the furniture I'm taking.

Thank god I'm not materialistic and petty. My freedom is way more valuable than any junk.

Spygirl

So sorry,

The first little bit is the toughest. Its like they really dont  understand they dont have control over you anymore. Its pretty shocking to them. You have put up with so much for so long, why change now?

I experienced the same stuff. Some even wierder things for a few months after l left. He kept the things he thought would hurt my feelings. I am actually happy about it now. No reminders of the past in my new life, except for that alimony check. More than enough to to create a new home.

Hang in there. Try to bring someone he respects to help you. Maybe two people so it goes faster, like in one day or trip. Likely he will perform the blubbering victim that way, and not be so angry. It was helpful to me so there was no violence.

You got this!

GettingOOTF

I let my ex keep a lot in order to keep the peace. After some time I have got rid of almost everything I had when we were married.

You will build a home filled with things you love.

Please be careful. If it's in your budget maybe you could hire someone to go with you.

pushit

You could always contact your local police department to see if they could have an officer onsite for your safety. 

hhaw

Have the police escort you into the house.  The PD won't be able to bully and threaten you with his anger.

You can get your things, or what the PD has left for you to find.

Getting the things you love out well ahead of leaving is a good policy, IME.

Good luck,
hhaw



What you are speaks so loudly in my ears.... I can't hear a word you're saying.

When someone tells you who they are... believe them.

"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger."
Nietchzsche

"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness."
Eleanor Roosevelt

Liftedfog

In my country, local police will make a keep the peace call.  I had to do this many times because ithere is no way I could have felt safe under the same roof of my mentally ill ex spouse.  A family member was too afraid to be with me.  I don't know what else I would have done.  It was a blessing each time.

Kat54

Thank you for the great advice. I do have a good friend who's husband is a police officer. He told me in the past if I needed help with anything related to the divorce to let him know.

sad_dog_mommy

In my experience a PD will always behave when other people are around.  I agree with the others; have someone with you (not your kids) whenever you have to interact with him. 

You are in the final stretch!  It is almost over!   

((( hug )))
Sometimes you don't realize you're actually drowning when you are trying to be everyone else's anchor.   

Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.

Unconditional love doesn't mean you have to unconditionally accept bad behavior.

Kat54

Yes, from now on I won't go in the house alone anymore. He did a good job of intimidating and bullying me. As if he hasn't done things like that before...that's why I left.  He has scared me many times and twice has grabbed me by the arm and shook me so hard while he was yelling at me. My kids, he's done worse; mostly pushing, shoving, arm twisting, hair pulling.  I thought about my safety and him snapping. That's why I decided to not finish packing up and rather I should leave. It shouldn't be that way though. I've tried to be gracious and I'm leaving so much behind.

Hope I won't have to see him ever again, except for an occasional event with our kids.  My kids are adults so probably not until a wedding or something.