Batsh#t crazy Therapist......

bruceli · October 15, 2019, 12:35:18 AM

Had this happen to me, and was wondering how many of you here have had a Therapist tell you a batsh#t crazy thing or give batsh#t crazy advice. Here goes.... Had one actually say that nothing was wrong with my pwPD giving me the silent treatment because she would enjoy if a SO gave her ST, if she were in a relationship, so that she could just go about doing her own thing. Never went back after that one.

Whatthehey · October 15, 2019, 09:20:40 AM

My DD was in therapy. She was struggling with her faith and considering taking orders. I was neutral - hence the therapist. The therapist proceeded tell her there was no God only Mother Earth. Took her to another one who told her there were no real jogs for artist (she is a gifted artist.)

In marriage therapy I had a therapist tell me that I was unreasonable with my stbxhOCPD where money was concerned. Even though we had substantial money in our savings it was unreasonable to go to dinner without a coupon just to enjoy each other.

I had another marriage therapist tell us that my h was perfectly pleasant and she couldn't see the problems I was describing.

A second therapist suggested in the first session that I divorce him. I waited five years to do that. Should've listened to him and saved me five years.

Hazy111 · October 15, 2019, 09:21:34 AM

I think lots of therapists are disordered sorting out their own S***T through listening to others. Definitely had a narc therapist. Its the greatest form of narc supply. No distractions. Client can subtly become dependent on therapist. Power dynamic .

Aeon · October 16, 2019, 02:19:02 PM

UPDH had us sleeping in separate rooms, not talking but acting like nothing was wrong for about 8 months. The start was snoring which he had done something about before but took no interest in this time. Went to roughly, 10 therapists and about 7 of those were crazy. Two of them told me I should just forget about it. This was the beginning of my seeing that something was terribly wrong with my marriage and my uPDH was nothing like he originally appeared.
Apparently it is not unusual for a therapist to make stupid conclusions about the angry or offended party. I don't trust any of them to know that they are being manipulated (although about 3 of them were good).

StayWithMe · October 16, 2019, 03:52:44 PM

What is the playbook that they are performing from?

For example, I visit a board that deals with adultery. Anonymous posters freely advise new visitors on how to snoop --whether it's legal where the new visitor hails from or not. The purpose of this is to increase one's knowledge facts (time and dates stamped receipts) so that your cheating partner has less room to play with.

Also, I read a post from someone who identified himself as marriage counselor. he admitted that before his wife cheated on him, he would counsel on the basis that both partners were guilty for adultery occurring. But afterwards, he started adultery the fault of solely the person engaging in it.

I've had some unpleasant experiences with therapists. It seems as if you can't be honest with them about the anger and other negative emotions you might have. they seem to feel as if perhaps these emotions are what caused the problem. Or that other usual judgement, ie well, you've had this problem before, ergo, I can't help you.

the other thing I don't understand is that if you're paying them, they should be your advocate. Like a lawyer, they should be helping you to navigate situations to achieve outcomes to your advantage (as long as it's legal of course). Instead, their advice seems to sit on, oh they mean well ........ you shouldn't get mad...........

theonetoblame · October 16, 2019, 09:51:20 PM

My history with batshit crazy therapists extends well back into my childhood. The person 'prescribed' coercive restraint 'therapy' for my PD parents to use on me. As my father remembered it: "he told us to be the Hitler of Love, that we were bigger and stronger than you so if we forced our love on you eventually you would accept it". Then he worked with them to make arrangements for my school teacher to take me to a group home and use thinly veiled threats they would leave me there. The 'therapy' wasn't working, I was terrified of them and the 'permission' to invade my personal safety acted like a thin edge of the wedge and opened up other aggression from them. How's that for f'd up -- do I win a prize???

The thing is, everywhere a person goes there is a message that a therapist could be helpful. I've seen at least 5 as an adult, only one of those actually listened and didn't make judgements about me. I remember seeing a fellow in my second year of university, after doing a brief history he used a confrontational tone to ask/challenge why I had chose my field of study. As we were departing he blended the comment with some snarky nonsense about how we would talk about that "and your mother" next time I came in -- the tone was all wrong, condescending and grandiose in a Freudian way.

In another situation the therapist was clearly processing their own stuff through the conversation with me. I had a clinical psychologist withhold his own history of recommending coercive restraint therapy as I regaled him with story after story of how damaging it was for me and how my unPD mother used is a free ticket to physically abuse. 6 sessions in he finally disclosed this to me... wtf??? One good thing, I was behind on payments and never gave that prick a dime! If you're in a conflict of interest say so, don't sit there all smug and disconnected only to destroy the rapport later on...

Whatthehey · October 17, 2019, 12:30:22 PM

theonetoblame, yes you win. I am so sorry that happened to you. That is absolutely batshit crazy.

I am finally with a great therapist. She uses EMDR and for the first time in my middle age life I do not live with the physical ramifications of PTSD. But it took lots of kissing frogs to find a prince.

I think you are right. You have to keep trying until you find you connect with.

PeanutButter · October 17, 2019, 01:09:12 PM

When I was in my early 20's I went to a psychiatrist who told me that to find out if a man who I was dating is committed to me; I should ask him to pay a bill for me. He said tell him I am low on money this month so unable to pay the fill in the blank bill. It has to be paid so I really need his help. Psychiatrist said if man I am dating pays the bill no questions asked that he is committed, if he won't pay it I should not date him anymore.

The weird part about the advice was that I was not discussing this. I simply stated when psychiatrist asked that I was casually dating (a few times) a man. It was the first time I left/ seperated from unpdxH (@6 months).
I thought 'really, is this what i am doing wrong? Should i be asking men I go out with to pay my bill?'
I ended up not going back.

Aeon · October 17, 2019, 01:20:47 PM

PeanutButter-- That is awesomely ridiculous -- he pays the bill, therefore committed!
It is truly a wonder that anyone gets better in therapy.
I saw a therapist as a young teenager (mom is uPD) so I was very depressed. It became clear that he was not going to be helpful when he said, "Your mom and dad love you and are doing what's best for you." He said it without knowing a thing about my situation or their part in it.
I truly think a lot of people would get the same results from talking some random person whose good at listening.

Good for you on not going back.

bruceli · October 17, 2019, 09:18:39 PM

Quote from: Whatthehey on October 17, 2019, 12:30:22 PM
theonetoblame, yes you win. I am so sorry that happened to you. That is absolutely batshit crazy.

I am finally with a great therapist. She uses EMDR and for the first time in my middle age life I do not live with the physical ramifications of PTSD. But it took lots of kissing frogs to find a prince.

I think you are right. You have to keep trying until you find you connect with.

Funny you mention EMDR. PD was going to receive EMDR from a T her other T recommended. Come to find that EMDR T tells current that for some reason he doesn't like me, so wife doesn't feel comfortable with that. Funny thing is that I have never met emdr T. Wtf?

SparkStillLit · October 18, 2019, 12:22:00 AM

But do you think that's real, or made up BS that the PD said?
I'm finding out that PDs are masters at making things seem real, and I'm not finding out till YEARS later that no one ever said/did that or that never happened.

1footouttadefog · October 22, 2019, 07:11:57 AM

My h's first psychiatrist was B.S. Crazy. He gave bad advise. He misprescrived meds. He obsessed and encouraged my spouse to be obsessive about doomsday senarios. He would mistakenly misidentify me. When I read the medical records years later and all of his notes, it was very eye opening. I was quoted in the notes and my opinions were taken in a positive light, some of this was third hand as I did not attend sessions typically. Then later when there were big issues and meds were way wrong and I attended. I had to be very assertive to get info across about my spouses mania and the physical threat it posed to the kids and I. After that I was demonized in the notes and he actively campaigned against me with my spouse in the sessions.

countrygirl · October 22, 2019, 08:19:00 AM

Hi,

I had a PD friend who was hospitalized because of Bipolar 1. She was also Borderline. At any rate, she promised her family that she would see a therapist after she was released from the hospital. Well, she told me her whole purpose in seeing the therapist was to convince the therapist that she was NOT Bipolar. She wanted them to write a report to be placed in her medical file, in the hope that their report would cancel out the report of the hospital psychiatrist.

During the time she was seeing this therapist, my friend became worse and worse, having raging meltdowns. I was actually tempted to call her therapist and tell her this (had known my friend for many years, so could see just how much the mental disorder had progressed), but knew there was no point in calling her, because of confidentiality rules. Finally, my friend "completed" therapy, and the therapist wrote a letter saying that the hospital psychiatrist had been wrong.

Well, my friend had been hospitalized twice previously, with the same diagnosis; but of course she didn't tell this therapist this.

I also think that the therapist was influenced by the fact that my friend's family is a big donor to the church which employs her.

Nonetheless, I was shocked that she wrote this letter, because my friend was--and is--in a really bad way. I was certain that the therapist would see through her act, because therapists are trained to see through acts.

xdamage · October 22, 2019, 10:36:54 AM

There are some good therapists out there, but sure, it's true, it is not a job that anyone is going to choose if they don't have some of their own issues to sort through too.

My T is religious, I am not, but it doesn't need to be a show stopper. That is how he views the world, I view it a bit differently, but what my T is good at is listening, and responding with empathy. That is good enough. We have in common 90 percent, so the 10 percent difference is workable.

It does indeed take time to find a therapist you can work with. They aren't all loopy, but finding one that you can work with? Yea, that is not easy to do.