First holiday season NC - how to cope with loneliness and grief

[awarealivesurvivor]

I'll be entering my 3rd year NC in February.  It's taken a long time to feel comfortable and relaxed enough to where I can finally focus on myself and healing. 
I keep my spirits up during holiday and event times by planning for how the future will be.  I know that may sound depressing but I have gotten to a point where it isn't because I see myself improving and making progress in my healing everyday.  I envision a future that I know will come about eventually.  I plan and visualize what it will be like as soon as my loneliness hits me.  I think about volunteering at places where they provide Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners.  I think about being able to go back to bingo night at a place where my nm isn't showing up (I can't join anything because my nm finds out and immediately joins).  It's going to be necessary to move if I am ever going to be completely free.  But at least, my mind is free now.  That's big.  My nm cannot influence my moods, thoughts, happiness anymore with her antics and that makes this interim time in my life tolerable.

[Brooke]

I keep my spirits up during holiday and event times by planning for how the future will be.  I know that may sound depressing but I have gotten to a point where it isn't because I see myself improving and making progress in my healing everyday.  I envision a future that I know will come about eventually.  I plan and visualize what it will be like as soon as my loneliness hits me.  I think about volunteering at places where they provide Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners.  I think about being able to go back to bingo night at a place where my nm isn't showing up (I can't join anything because my nm finds out and immediately joins).  It's going to be necessary to move if I am ever going to be completely free.  But at least, my mind is free now.  That's big.  My nm cannot influence my moods, thoughts, happiness anymore with her antics and that makes this interim time in my life tolerable.

I love this.