Her "medium counselor", my PDw, and me

[Samuel S.]

My PDw's "medium counselor" has been quite influential over the years with her, dealing with her grief from her D 20 years ago and showing her a different path of becoming. While I am happy for her that this "medium counselor" has helped in these matters, I have always been there for her, to support her 100%! This "medium counselor" has not only created boundaries which is good, but she also has created walls, stumbling blocks in my relationship with my PDw. I frankly believe that this "medium counselor" hates men. She views men as tools to become alive and then to thrive without us. Well, my PDw has taken that to the extreme. It is like a little kid is given a cookie, and the little kid takes the whole cookie jar.

At the very beginning, I also was counseled by this "medium counselor". Then, I shared with her about a new product. She then referred me to pay with the help my PDw's sister over $14,000, and it was denied. This "medium counselor" said we would make millions. Well, we lost $14,000. Then, she referred me to see another counselor locally who 6 months later killed his own ex-wife, her sister, and then himself. So, my belief in this "medium counselor" is less than zero. Nevertheless, my PDw kisses the ground she walks on, calling her every week to get some sort of advice which is between the two of them.

So, any suggestion that I have for my PDw which is out of love and respect for her is frowned upon, such as wanting to go on a date with her or going on for our anniversary, because she is too busy. So, while my PDw has benefitted by this "medium counselor", the relationship with my PDw has taken a nose dive, along with all the abuse and manipulation, and I yet hold on by a single thread of hope. I don't understand me in this regard, nor do my family and friends. I believe in hope in so many ways, but she seems so distant.

[1footouttadefog]

I guess one could say your hope comes at a price.  The smaller that hope becomes due to you seeing negating behaviours and hearing negating messages the higher the cost that is being paid by you.