My Stupidity and Trusting Him

[Kat54]

Once again probably fear of him and being in the FOG I left a check on the counter in our house that was sent to both of us. Had picked up the mail which I never do, but for some reason that day I did. A check came in the mail from the govt. for a property tax relief refund in the amount of $509.00 and it was made out to both of us.

I left it on the counter and then called him later asking about my missing jewelry etc. I brought up the check, and he said we should put it toward a joint bill we owe money on, about $650.00 was left of the bill.  I said that was OK with me. Texted him later and told him what was the amount left on the bill, the $650.00.

Picked up my mail as usual and didn't really look at an envelope all week until this morning. He wrote a check out to this creditor for exactly half of the $650.00.  First of all, I didn't think the check made out to the both of us can be cashed or deposited since we don't have joint bank accounts anymore so not exactly sure what happened to the check. Or he may have deposited it into his account, which I think he may be able to do??  I didn't realize he could but I texted him this morning asking about that check and thought we were going to put it toward this bill we owe.  Of course he isn't answering me. 

My question, can you deposit into his bank account a check that has been made out to both of us?   I'm so stupid if that's the case.
I was going to take the check with me and hold onto it until we figured out how to split it, but like I said, I'm too afraid of him. And if I hadn't gone to get the mail, he could of gotten the check and I would never have known about it.

[Poison Ivy]

I will try to remember to respond at more length later.  I just want to say now that you are NOT stupid.  It's normal to think current or former romantic partners will not try to rip us off or cheat us.

[eyesopen]

I don't work at a bank, so I could be wrong...  As long as his name is on the check, he can sign and deposit it into his personal account without your approval.  It appears that's what he's done.

[blunk]

The difference is whether the check was made out as "and" versus "or".

At least with my bank if it is made out to ___ and ____ then both signatures are required, even for deposit.

[Kat54]

I have now realized one thing. In our settlement agreement while he occupy's the home he will be responsible for all carrying charges associated with the house. This bill is from a property tax reduction we had done a few years ago.  I'm going to send in his check to this company and then inform him he can pay the rest of the bill from that check he likely deposited because this is a bill associated to the house.   

OK, now I don't feel that stupid...

[Poison Ivy]

Great idea!